Victorclaude

Feb 07, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Nirvana's gate

western door is closing fast

all around is slaughter

light slips through a crack at last

escape is all that matters

escape the coming brutal storm

escape into the wastelands

pursued by hate and guile it comes

comes to kill with both hands

hands that look like yours and mine

hands that should know better

hands like yours a mother made

hands like mine in tatters

in tattered clay hands still work

working to do murder

murder of the innocents

hands like ours a mother made --

western door is closing fast

faster with each moment

dust is falling everywhere

turning into adamant

another day will shine again

again we'll try to live it straight

straight to the crack where the light shines in

straight to Nirvana's gate.

vcp

7 February 2010

— Victorclaude, Feb 07, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Favorite Poets: Wallace Stevens, D. H. Lawrence, Charles Bukowski, Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Percy Bysshe Shelley, T. S. Eliot, E. E. Cummings, Emily Dickinson, William Butler Yeats, Pablo Neruda, Joni Mitchell, William Shakespeare, Basho, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Kelly Marie Hayner, Susan Wydville. D. Phillip Caron, Elizabeth Bishop.

Critiques

DawningDaytripper

16 years 4 months ago

Hi Victor, There was some

Hi Victor, There was some repetition in your vocabulary I was not so hot for, but I love your last lines so much I had to say. straight to the crack where the light shines in straight to Nirvana’s gate. I think would go so much better as, straight to the crack where the light shines in a dash to Nirvana’s gate. Or even another word, but the repition, for me didn't work. Just my thoughts. Hands works, your usage of Tattered and tatters, straight, for me didn't. Good read. Thanks for sharing, I will try to catch more. Julie D.D.

Victorclaude

16 years 4 months ago

dd

if you didn't like it, you didn't have to shit on it quite so much.

DawningDaytripper

16 years 4 months ago

Well I could have shit on

Well I could have shit on it.. But I did like it Victor, or I wouldn't have bothered. But I won't in the future I guess. I had one issue, I explained it. Take what you need. Julie D.D.

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

For you

For you Victor: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YUZYVsUEF4 The Dirty Fucking Hippies Were RIght. Peace. ~A

Victorclaude

16 years 4 months ago

Anna,

And peace to you as well. Victor

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Straight from Nirvana’s

Straight from Nirvana's Gate to my eyes i loved it Victor I have missed a few of yours will try and catch up over the weekend take care love and hugs Jayne x x x

Victorclaude

16 years 3 months ago

Jayne,

Glad you liked this one. Hope we all get there soon. Victor