a Monarch butterfly lands on a field of dreams

Wow, i don't know what to say! Here are some of the lines that i loved, ''but hunger frightens me into the daylight,'' ''for I hadn’t crossed the line between fantasies. '' i love the butterfly refferences, the visual imagery was great. The only thing im not sure about is the word caress, i think you have mispelled it, but being a dreadful speller myself i coulod be wrong ; ) love vixy

Bravo. You come into your own with this one. I like the way the tone, imagery, cadence, language, and theme work harmoniously. Very strong work. And very much your own. My favorites are the opening and closing lines, first two, last three. There are places where you end stop lines in commas, and I would expect, instead, to find a period or nothing followed by a capital letter in the next line. But that may just be your thing. No crit here: Just an observation. Simplify your title. Maybe drop the dreams, leave off with field. Make some small changes noted below, because the lines discussed detract from your brilliance. Crits are inline***. Smokey Robinson fluffed my pillow last night and a thousand fingers caressed me, I dreamed of Howler monkeys in slow motion, falling from Brazil like acorns and cherry pits from eyes that blossom I dreamed of milking venomous serpents in Sri Lanka, I discovered a cure for what ails the human condition, Buddhas wrapped me with their loving-kindness, I was***find a better word than was, escaped? I appreciate the irony and understatement. Contrasts nicely with the voluptuous subject.*** unharmed In Vancouver, I was a child dragged away by a starving cougar, my mother won the battle and saved me, bleeding, she took me in her arms and applied pressure to my wounds, I am now a rough diamond, a hard-soft black coal I am not afraid of cats but hunger frightens me into the daylight, I did all these things and others I don’t quite remember, yet the other side my bed was untouched, ****delete the next two lines; untouched says it and says it better *** for I hadn’t crossed the line between fantasies. I awaken with a need to be fucked, ***I don’t object to the word fucked in some poems, but it doesn’t fit this one for me because it contributes nothing and smacks me in the face just when I am really invested in the subject; I think you say it better (more poetically and with plenty of urgency and rawness) with raspberries and manhood, surrender, flowering. And the reference to sex below reinforces the act anyhow. So, write “I awaken with a need” skip the other lines and go to “you feeding me raspberries”*** a glorious fucking unlike ***del*** anything I have ever known before, ***del*** you feeding me raspberries of your manhood, me singing I surrender, in your dreams ***del; we left the dreamworld. we are living this one above, it's just metaphor*** I am the flowering Jacaranda, you are my purple-blue corolla, a Monarch butterfly lands on my coffee cup, I drink slowly, the coffee is hot and smells of morning sex

Who the hell would want to fuck with you? Ya gotta do what ya gotta do and you did it in crayola? Very nice ;) My eyes are now opened (wide) A sad but adventurous time (wild time). I just came from a great Cafe. Something is in the air I do believe.. Mark "some things change, some things do not"

A very ludic poem, as the sea playing its frolicky song, its own kind of melody over multicolored, shiny waters. Yours is a really fun and funny way to write a poem. I'm still humored; not like a few minutes ago when I almost fell down to the floor when I read it. You really know how to keep your readers spellbound and attentive till the last. We never know what you'll come up with next. It's a great poem!!! Sincerely, Hugo

Oh you're on a high Anna sister mine, you see what I mean? Its too late to study but it will give me sweat dreams!!!! love to yiu dear sister from Ann.

he he he he lol My darlin I came to see you first and what I had missed of yours and found this gem .... fuck is a good solid word there is no miscontruing that word lol and I think imo it fits your poem ... but at the end of the day its your baby ... and I love every baby you bring to us love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Living breathing with each stroke brush and touch up we make ... you are making me want to write lol but hands are tied from writing at the moment making them and my mind rest ;) doing me the world of good but I am missing you (hug) love and millions of hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x