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Don't

Don’t 

Don’t love me so much

That your true love

Turns to more pain

When I leave

From this world

Which is so very vain?

 

Don’t love me so much

So that you remain

In everlasting pain 

Though twill be

Your lovely gain

 

Pain poetry shines your name

Let love flow out from life for you

A painstaking poet 

Let the pain come out of you

 

So till I remain

Let there be no pain

No disdain

No refrain

Last but not the least of all

Let there be no more pain

 

When you lose me out somewhere

In the floods of life

That flourishes’ your pain

In the utmost glory of

God’s loveliest sunshine

Which as you know is rain?

Do love me again and again

Perhaps it will relieve you

Of all your poetic pain

Or let you in your

Eternal shell of pain

Forever and ever remain.

 

 

 

 

 

— loved, Jan 31, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

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Critiques

ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 3 months ago

Hello loved,

a promising poem you have here. I like the concept of expressing pain and disappointment as concern for the loved one. I can't help feeling that it is a little too singsongy in some places to convey the hurt and the accompanying frustration (anger?). Also, you rely very heavily on the word "pain" here. A synonym or two wouldn't go amiss in my opinion. Yours, ~Nina