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C
Clem
Jan 28, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Naked Love - (new poem)

Naked Love

She comes with wings and flowing robes.
She hovers round my tattered cares,
She lifts them multilayered from my frame.
She asks one boon as there I undressed lay.
"Be naked more than body dear,
Be free from more than cares.
Come tell me what I cannot see,
And inside naked be to me."
And later on she breathes my breaths,
Lockstep with my formations
Makes me cool; I make her warm
And so we spend the night in love
And nakedness.

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Mark

Mark

16 years 3 months ago

Well

Hi Clem, I like this write. The idea of remembering with such grace. I am not a fan of reduncancy and certainly not for the same word stacked. I would do this a bit different but that is me. I like the way you think about knowing deeply and seem to put the act of love making secondary or so it seems to me. Anyhow, hopefully helpful, Mark ps I would remove the notification of a new poem. Is it not new to each who read it? "some things change, some things do not"
C

Clem

16 years 3 months ago

response

I am pretty new to neo, no pun intended. Thank you for your comments. Very helpful. I did the "new Poem" thing because the blue "new" was not appearing on the traker site by my title. Do you know why? Also, saw your comments on the forum thread by Larry on criticism. Your suggestions here are the best and only criticisms I have received on over five poems presented. So I thank you. That is why I am here - for the poetry workshop stuff although I like the social also. Curt