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broken_skye
Jan 27, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Love I Guess

I can't do it anymore.
I can't hold it in.
I have to tell hem how I feel.
Feel about hem.

But every time I try I chock up inside.
I get butterflies.
I end up standing there.
Mouth open but no words falling out.
I look stupid.
And I am in need of rescuing
But there is no one there 
Just me and him.
Just standing there.
And then he laughs and walks away.

I don't think he knows.
Knows my secret
My secret about him
and I feel about him.
I wish I could tell him.
But I knew that i can't.
I don't have the courage.
Or the guts.
To face him
Face him with his beautiful brown eyes
And long brown hair.

I can sit there hours and daydream about him.
But I know I shouldn't.
Cause every time I even hear his name My face turns red
And I can't breath
I always think that he is behind me
and that he is talking to a friend.
But I know that he is not behind me.
Cause I am in my class and he is in his.
And then I am at my house and hem at his.

I think that I am paranoid.
I always think that he is here.
Here with me.
I can't help but to wonder
if he feels the same.
If he feels the butterflies.
Like the ones I feel.

I guess that you could say that I am in love.
In love with those eyes.
That personality.
The way he looks at me.
I guess that I am in love.

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hillrider

16 years 3 months ago

The pangs of youth...

and unrequited love.There is a lot in this piece Skye and I am not sure exactly how to proceed. But I will give it a go. First I want to comment as a friend and say that if you don't tell him you are losing the chance to enjoy a closer friendship with him and the time you spend in wonder will continue to remain unfulfilled. "Nothing ventured nothing gained" is an old adage that has a lot of truth. GO FOR IT! SPEAK YOUR MIND! The worst that can happen is that you will find your desire to be closer won't be completed, and it will free you to pursue someone or something that DOES give you what you deserve. Okay, enough "fatherly advice". Your poem is another matter, in that appears to mirror your current approach to this love you feel- it lacks a certain drive and seems to hesitate rather than boldly declare what it is you have to say. Please understand I am not knocking the content, style or length I just think you have written what you are THINKING rather than poetically describing that FEELING of love you speak of, that is overwhelming you. Could it be that because you are unsure of his feelings for you that you are hesitant to declare what you feel for him? Skye , because you are my friend and asked me in the PM to give you my thoughts on your latest I am putting it all out there for you. I am nervous, unsure how to describe my opinion and worry that it won't be received as intended. Yet because you are important as my friend I take the chance you will understand and not reject it out of hand. A lot like what you may be going through with this boy. Anyway sorry to have gone on at such length and hope you will receive this as it is mean't - with the best of intentions. Indi
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ovi2wise

16 years 3 months ago

good good

impressive, so well described, i wish all the girls would just come out and say it lol, its heart melting, why does all the guys always have to make the first move lol. now i hope my girl would have done the same he he he
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broken_skye

16 years 3 months ago

I think you got it wrong.....

I think that you have got it wrong I have no told hem yet i don't think thhat i will.....i have been doing somethings to get him to notice me and more.....but the guy always has to make the frist move coz it is more romantic that way.....oh yes and thanks for the comment......hahahaha
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ovi2wise

16 years 3 months ago

he he he

lol, well well, tell me wat you doin to get his attention
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broken_skye

16 years 3 months ago

I will......

I will tell you later on a private message......later.....hahaha
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ovi2wise

16 years 3 months ago

waiting

lol hmmmm, anyday soon???
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ovi2wise

16 years 3 months ago

he he

lol, youre not the only one lol lol
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Will Wright

16 years 3 months ago

reviewing Love, I Guess.

Great title. Good rhythm and great use of anaphora. I liked the way your thoughts were organized and the stanzas were broken, like paragraphs, very well. I especially liked the last stanza, where you summed it all up, and maybe you said more than you know about why this is love, you guess.