Those Old Nursery Rhymes

Little one, come here and sit with megather your books under the old oak tree Shall we read the books you love so much
sharing together our special touch

Sitting here you and I, all this time reading all those sweet nursery rhymes Enjoyed the times we've read togetherSpecial times through all kinds of weather
I will read some, you will read morejust like a wave coming on shore Coming in closer and washing back outwe read the book, we talk it out

Mother Goose and The Little Red Hencan we read the stories once again You're learning little one, just wait and seesomeday we will visit the old oak tree..

— magics02, Jan 28, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Florida, USA

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Critiques

DawningDaytripper

16 years 4 months ago

And A sweet poem Magic, I

And A sweet poem Magic, I love nursery ryhmes. And oak trees. Passing on through oral traditon a charming story. Its wonderful. I still see some cut and paste formatt issue's, but its of little importance. Thanks for sharing. Julie D.D.

magics02

16 years 4 months ago

Good Morning dd

thanks and yes I am having a problem with the cut and paste in Open Office since I tried that (not on this one) and when I do it still does not come out like right on here. I need to fool with it somemore. This poem reminds me of all the times I read my son millions of times books, books, books and we would sit under the tree or rock in the rocking chair everynite for bedtime stories, just like dad did with us. Love Mona

Nordic cloud

16 years 4 months ago

This is a lovely tender story

This is a lovely tender story but it needs a little work on it to make it sing the right nursery rhyme for you dear Mona, I have noted a few things below that might help you sort it out. Love the idea. Love the oak, the English oaks in the old forests are indeed Kings and Queens of stories. Magnificent, yes some are female some are male! Just like the Princes and Princesses in the fairy tales. "gather your book under the old oak tree" gather suggests more than one? "just like a wave coming upon shore" the shore? "Your learning little one," you're "enjoying our times those sweet old loving nursery rhymes Enjoy the times we’ve read together Special times through all kinds of weather" a lot of TIMES! Love from Anskie bird(my mother's name for me)

Skumpfsklub

16 years 4 months ago

sweet enough, with just the right nostalgic touch

Ann has already addressed the few spelling errors and the your/you're confusion, so there's little more for me to add. Good use of the style; the relaxed attention to formal* demand is quite soothing, as is meet with the general aim; the occasional 'reaching' to meet the demands of rhyme is nowhere jarring---indeed, such 'reaching' rhymes are almost a formal demand; the piece is maybe lightly ornamented, but I think you make the good call on that one. There is little need to dwell on physical circumstance, when the focus of the piece is 'the sentiment of teaching children.' The title supplies germ enough for scenery; the reader can paint as much 'picture' as s/he wants to. Good poem. Perry *In comments to my "Catch of the day (granny couplets)," I outline my concept of this form.

magics02

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you Ann and Perry

No this is what I call good critique and I shall fix it up a bit more as I appreciate your feedback on this poem I did last night. I write all different themes and of things so this one is like a family one. And yes Perry I am always getting hung up on your and youre..must of had a problem with that in high school.. thank you so much all of you. I take something different from every comment. xoxoxo Ms Mona

magics02

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Indi

I did tweak it some more and everyone home here thought it was great. These are my biggest critics, the authors I know here at home and the authors on neopoet. Thank you for all your help and comments. I probably will tweak it some more, that is what I do with all of my work when I get the time to do so. I may go in and read it again and then find just something else that does not sound right or flow right or look right. That is why I am my own best critic but of course am open for suggestions of course the good and the not so good. Feedback is great when it is acknowledged and worked upon. Feedback is not great when it attacks the person and not the poem. I think feedback may be a better word to use here on neopoet. On constructive feedback, has a better ring to me this morning for some reason or other. Feedback. Critique is better left said for movie or a talent show. This is not a talent show. I think from now I am using the word feedback. Sounds less harsh what do you think? Have a great day to all Mona

Millage

16 years 4 months ago