Kailashana

Jan 24, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

the hunted

we forgot to talk about Prussia
never mentioned
Lenin, Trotsky and Nureyev
doing an Irish jig in the great beyond,
where oh where did the time go
between then and now?

the world a brown scorched earth
shades of red ochre, raw umber
burnt sienna
terre verte caves walking towards the sun,
sunbaked leaves in our hair

I am but a voyeur here
a woman in lioness dress
trying your death grip on
I sniff the air as wild beasts do
thirst binds each to the other
at the watering hole
swift the movement
crush and tear bone marrow, flesh
sanguine lips

my self-exposed
ferocity to know
animal skins and
death hunts

first dates and telephone calls

tis a fate far far
better than a life
knowing
nothing
but the taste of amanitine

so much for sizing the other up.

— Kailashana, Jan 24, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

Orphani

16 years 4 months ago

Well we certainly are seeing

Well we certainly are seeing some unusual writing from Kal, and one might suspect she's been doing naughty things at the watering hole-licking her lips and cleaning her panting fur guys, but who am I to say? What are you gonna do? The womans a crazed lioness on the blood trail. Metaphorically speaking of course.A poetic animal. First stanza appears a little off tone of the poems themebut i love it but I'm a little partial we

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Silly. First stanza works

Silly. First stanza works with the telephone call line. Sheesh! Do I have to 'splain everything lucee? ~A "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine

Orphani

16 years 4 months ago

The more I live with this

The more I live with this poem; the more I am gaining an appreciation of its depth and complexity. I had to grow into this one, and because of that I realised that we somtimes see poems with an eye that demands the poem fit into the concept we want to fit the poem into. That won't do. I want to fit into your poem neatly, as you feel it flawlessly and seamlessly,but I think in joining some flesh is ultimately torn and rearanged to make a larger whole. Webee

lyz

16 years 4 months ago

Wow

This is more intent than some of your others I feel, and written brilliantly. When can I get to say, nah, spelling error, line needs a tweak, something please, lol. Just kidding. I really enjoyed the read and I did not find flow or anything off. I found it all interesting. I love the voyeur in lioness garb. Just brilliant. Love Lyz. XX

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

TY Lyz, I am that or just a

TY Lyz, I am that or just a crazed demented woman (thanks Barry). How's the soup today? Love, Anna "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Mum

Applause dear one ... love fits you well and makes you write with a ferocity thats amazing and brilliant love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Grrrrrrrr. You know what I

Grrrrrrrr. You know what I mean? Love, Mum "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine

Lunegirl

16 years 4 months ago

Love the death grip line

Love the death grip line Anna, its brilliant. Im giving four stars today as i can't keep giving you five ; ) i know you don't care for them anyway ; p, lots of great visuals here. Im going to read your short story now vixy xxx

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Blasphemy! Tommy rot (what

Blasphemy! Tommy rot (what was that anyway)! Give me stars! My kingdom for stars!!! (And money from writing poetry!) Hugs Miss Vixy, ~A "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine

Skumpfsklub

16 years 4 months ago

Maybe a tweak or two

I can be of most service to you by keeping it simple---my task, that is, which reduces to telling you where and how your poem missed me. And that's easy, as there were only two places I found myself unable to understand. L10 brought me to a halt. For the life of me, I could find no comfortable non-bizarre way to make sense of caves walking. I thought that maybe you had a line break missing, but that didn't fit: you've written poems before, and wouldn't err that way. 'Terre verte' I did not look up, but assumed it meant something like (what we call around here) 'green adobe.' There was also the possibility that you meant to name a hue---but that felt slightly out of joint with the walking cave thingy. At last I skipped over the line (exulting in my idiocy!) and read on. Things went smoothly until I got to L19. That one didn't halt me long. I simply rewrote it for myself as 'crush bone, tear marrow, flesh'. Reader's right to meddle is claimed. I don't believe I did violence to the piece in that. The doubled hint at le petit mort is nicely done. And the whole piece is a "Clean Wholesome Tale Of Sex As Death," a sempervirent joy. The fourth stanza's a hairsbreadth shy of being a stand-alone poem; I like it a lot. So, you have a good poem here.

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you for your

Thank you for your elaborations on the theme of this poem. I shall endeavor to work my way up to 5 stars (see, Miss Vixy THEY ARE IMPORTANT! :-) In my opinion (ask anyone--I have lots and lots and lots of them--)poetry is something that hopefully will give a visual, emotional, spiritual, etc. experience that has, perhaps, never before been revealed. Caves walking towards one another... Think that through, like you did with L19. It can be done. With Gratitude, ~A "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine

Ian The Poet

16 years 4 months ago

I liked the atmosphere of

I liked the atmosphere of the poem, thankyou. I write poetry for fun, however if I make money it is a bonus.

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Ian the poet, I much love

Ian the poet, I much love your serene avatar. And the idea that poetry, though incredible fun, can make money. Where is my stash? ~A p.s. thanks for reading! "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine

bjp

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Anna

Love the 3rd through 5th stanzas. From the 1st stanza, fifth line: "w[h]ere did the time go". The Tale of Two Cities twist is not twisting enough. The last line is too "throw-away" to easily cohabit with the third stanza. Brian

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Brian, funny how many

Thanks Brian, funny how many times I read that and never noticed the absent h.. (my mind must have put it in lol) I take your take on the tale... don't know how I would rewrite it yet. Any ideas? The last line, admittedly doesn't go with the the third stanza but does go with line 5 line. N'est-ce pas? ~A "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine

Orphani

16 years 4 months ago

This poem should be viewed

This poem should be viewed as a play with unfolding acts as opposed to viewing it as parts of one act in a play. There is a shifting from sceen to sceen that requires a combining of the whole to put the pieces together. This is typical of Anna's style.It's a theatrical stage of acts. we

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Morning darling. Returning

Morning darling. Returning to the scene. I have decided to remove the last act. Love, We "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine