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Z

GROWING PAINS

He who had a plan through
dotted escapades stood and
fought ended up with nought .
Frequently lifting false faces
from the floor eventually having
to walk through the door .

An unobserved introspective slant
giving grievance to self doubt and
pity, little to distract adds uncounted
scores to a pointless tally wandering,
shamelessly sure the unknown lure .

An eternal optimist searching for hope
not counted on failure set loose by the
opportunist destiny the key when plausible
has little effect ! time set aside to reflect .

Many facades the same persona , within
and without the walls of comfort finding
hope locked within the eyes of an old mans
daughter, time passes looking back opinions
rooted excuses disputed , loss distilled redressed
frilled glad past destiny was unknown from a boy
this man has grown.
— ziggy, Jan 24, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: IRL

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Critiques

C

Cascayde

16 years 4 months ago

Interesting story!Commenting

Interesting story! Commenting on the sounds, I really like the coupling of "f" and "t" sounds paired with "s" sounds. The hard sounds and soft sounds together, give the feeeling of something growing and stopping, and growing, and stopping again, so I really enjoyed at. I also like that the speaker is an omniscient observer,and i liekd how the seond stanza had "unobserved" in it. I found that interesting. To me the tone seems very thoughtful, and maybe even solemn. Which makes me very thoughtful about it all. - Cascayde
Z

ziggy

16 years 4 months ago

hi there

hello there this is about loss and hope plans that drift in the sand and then reflection , with a bit of alliteration thrown in , thank you for your thoughtful comments i will check out your inspirations ,,,,,,ziggy
L

lyz

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Zigs

Now what happened to that writers block? lol. I am glad to see it put to bed. I enjoyed this, read in a low voice I found it haunting, in a good way. Impressed. Love Lyz. XX
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Ziggy

My favorite lines are: Many facades the same persona , within and without the walls of comfort finding hope locked within the eyes of an old mans daughter, time passes looking back opinions rooted excuses disputed , loss distilled redressed frilled glad past destiny was unknown from a boy this man has grown. This is brilliant. I loved taking this journey with you. Reminds me of my own "growing pains." I'm so glad that you've gotten beyond that mean old writer's block. Always, Cat
Z

ziggy

16 years 4 months ago

hi there

hello there , i really liked you last , or should i say his , great read indeed, cheers for dropping bye your always welcome , yes my posey is or has being a bit slack of late not sure i am through it yet but i never try and push it i am trying to put more into what i do write and seems to be stalling me any way thanks again ,,,x ,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy