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L

Onus

Dis-membered corpses leaking blood
into sodden, Asian mud
beside a gently flowing stream
cause my sleeping mind to scream

Huey choppers sliding by
in a dismal, rainy sky
spitting death at those below
take me where I should not go

Rooms of aging, shattered men
blending pain of now and then
dying, even as they share
the varied tales that brought them there

All of this creates a hole
wherein once dwelt a thriving soul
and there it festers day by day
slowly eating life away

but do not mourn or weep for me
for i am but a dream you see
save your prayers for soldiers now
who die for those who don't know how

and love the ones who do return
with limbs all torn and hearts that burn
give them honor that is due
for they have given much for you

C.  Lon  R.  Bruso
— Lonnie, Jan 22, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New England, originally, now, Macon, N.C., USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Frost, Bob Dylan

More from this author

Critiques

L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks, Indi

I feel that you and I have made a good connection here on Neo, so I do greatly appreciate your comments!
P

poewriter58

16 years 4 months ago

Lon

I don't know where my comment went, but as I said The tears told the story and you saw them. You have summed it up very well here. What more could be said love ya Chrys
L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you, Dearest!

Didn't mean to make you cry, but I'm glad the poem had the oomph needed to do so!
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

I am sorry your write has

I am sorry your write has left me speachless ... my stars speak for me tonight and a bravo love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Lonnie

I am always affected by your writes but this one holds memories of my grandfather having nightmares after ww2 I only saw a spec of what he went through and your write simply broke my heart ... my son goes into the army in the next week as you would understand your write hit home ... brilliant write dear man love and hugs Jayne x x x
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

(((((Lonnie))))) To all

(((((Lonnie))))) To all soldiers everywhere...on all sides... And here's to dismantling the forces of greed and poverty of hate and prejudice, of warmongering and corruption, of mercenaries and burgeoning arm sales...weapons of war and weapons of mass destruction. Blessed are the soldiers who live and die for the lies that are spoken behind closed doors. Bless you Lonnie. ~A "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

Powerful, honest, insightful write, my friend.

The trouble with poetry this powerful though is that it seems peevish to give constructive critical feedback. But I'm going to. for i am but a dream you see you see is always a bad, stretching for rhyme. who die for those who don’t know how who don't know how to die? Or be good allies to America? this is a strange line that's it. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

I'll try to explain myself!

'for I am but a dream, you see' refers to the fact that in comparison to Today's Soldiers, I am only an afterthought, if that! 'Who die for those who don't know how' refers to people who don't have the courage to lay their life on the line for their Country, good or bad! Hope I have cleared up the misunderstanding! And thank you for thinking that this piece was worth commenting on!
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

ok, I see why you used "you see"

But I'm afraid it doesn't stop it seeming like a cliched form of rhyme. The second part, we can never agree on, I place truth and integrity (as seen by me) before country, countries can be wrong. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
O

ovi2wise

16 years 4 months ago

WOAH!

well done! the language in this poem left me speechless. the story was a bit confusing but the architecture and how you made things flow verse by verse was really well done
A

Annie-Rae

16 years 4 months ago

OMG

I have a friend that went to Iraq and hes only 18. This made me pray for him and our fellow Americans. This was amazing so I nominated you for the spotlight!
L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you so much!

I wasn't sure if you would be able to get the references to Vietnam, (where I served), but it seems you did! I'm very pleased that you liked this!