Lunegirl

Jan 19, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Uncaptured moments (edited)

frayed edge,
yours to unravel,

every time i lose a shadow,
a line,
i return to erase the whole.

Bluebell dust flutter lids,
rosewater scented neck,
tulip petal rouge
lush with solstice

Rapid strokes
too thick.
too fast.
memory fades.....

Tiger Lilly lips
orchid strewn hair
soft violet wrists
exquisite in fall

winter wanders along,
stale earth deaths hangout,
no succulent spring
the pencil has broken.

Tattered over used canvas.

About This Poem

About the Author

Comments

Michael A. Car…

16 years 3 months ago

moments

i like the read and the feel.....there are so many things we dont stop to see, taste and feel.......wonderful piece. winters broken pencil as if your trapped by the cold inside your home without inspiration. the snow you have had would trap most of us in... i enjoyed this piece.

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

Hermit

I did indeed become a hermit when the snow fell, i endevor to take a tea tray out though for 45 minutes with the children to slide down big hills at dusk. bit scary : ) I am glad you liked the poem... really its about memorys lost, a girl recreating herself and touches on rape and death. I don't think i conveyed it very well though lol. I wanted the beauty of summer and youth, with the loss of winter and death, the temptation of plucking flowers that then die, bit depressing actually : S vicki

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

Missy Vixy, by George,

Missy Vixy, by George, you've got it! Gotten the lead out! Ouch, yum and love is in the air, no that's the height of poetry! I'd buy your poetry books, but then again, I'd expect presents. lol. ~A too thick? or in a journey to (thick) (fast) either cap *both* Tiger Lily or not

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

edits done i think i like

edits done i think i like miss vixy, i may use this as my new pen name ; )

kaligantsaros

16 years 3 months ago

I feel like but can't qiute get.. ..

Is it about writing? Moving from autumn into winter forward hoping for summer . Too thick Too fast.. staling deaths or stealing deaths? winter wonders or wanders?

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

Its about link between

Its about link between canvas, painting, seasons and also what i ssaid above in the first comment. I was unsuccessfully trying for a deeper more interesting clever write lol. practice makes progress in the end ; ) Its actuallt stale-ing, i checked on the spell checker it gave thet option, and its wonders. The uncaptured moments were the canvas. read the first edit and see if you think that is better, i think it makes more sence. vix ; )

kaligantsaros

16 years 3 months ago

I see yes..

Still not so successful , somehow seems inorganic , not belonging to it separate parts. Soz Kal

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

Thats ok, its how you feel

Thats ok, its how you feel about it, I know i haven't linked the intent well... re-edit for another time vic

Idlemindwondering

16 years 3 months ago

I read this

then read the comments and then reread it and still get a sense of beautiful things lost. The last line made me think of the inability to write while depressed. as always you made me think... ken

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks Ken

I guess it is about beautiful things lost in the sence of memories, moments and self not mine the character lol) glad i made you think. I looked up that link you sent, it was really helpful vix ; )

Idlemindwondering

16 years 3 months ago

then I am happy

I prefer free verse, but the more I venture into form the more I learn it has a way of drawing unexpected and interesting results out of me. good luck :) ken

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

I know what you mean

I prefered free verse, but since joining neo, and learning about form i see how it can make a peice more powerful.. something barry said about learning rules before breaking them, then making your own, is starting to make sence to me. I look forward to reading more of your work vix ; )

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

Miss Vixy I like that pen

Miss Vixy I like that pen name ... cause lady you are no fuckwit ... lovely write that i will come back and revisit ... again and again love and hugs Jayne x x x

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

Saasy

Yo its still sassy just not offensive lol, ill keep the other one for the more macarb work ive done. Thanks as always for your positive encouragement. Ill pop in later to see your latest magic ; ) Vix ; )

Candlewitch

16 years 3 months ago

Hello Vicki

My favorite lines are: every time i lose a shadow, a line, i return to erase the whole. (it has the feel of one remaking them self) and: winter wanders along, stale earth deaths hangout, no succulent spring the pencil has broken. Tattered over used canvas. (feeling the closeness of death passing nearer and being sucked dry of inspiration) Always, Cat

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

Hello Cat,So many loved

Hello Cat, So many loved those lines ; ) and many felt that about the losing of inspiration.. Im glad you liked the poem, Im going to look up your page next to see if you've left any treasures i haven't read yet love vix ; )

bjp

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Vicki,

I agree with Caitlin. Olya says everything is about sex and I certainly read the poem with rose tinted glasses. Double entendres everywhere. A very good piece of work. Brian

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

Dear brian,My best friend of

Dear brian, My best friend of twenty odd years says the same lol, everything is about sex!! although after 3months of sleepless nights im not so inclined presently to agree haha. this poem for me, read like that after i had written it. Thankyou for the feed back vix ; )

ziggy

16 years 3 months ago

hi

good good read "every time i lose a shadow a line i return to erase the whole " what a line great piece well wort the edits ,,,ziggy

Lunegirl

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks Ziggyfor having a

Thanks Ziggy for having a read and your feedback vix ; )