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L
Lonnie
Jan 20, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Philosophical Conundrum

Reality is puzzle pieces
bits of life that wander by
as do I

Far from here the voiceless void
screams its silent anger
as do I

Shadows of tomorrow crouch
poised to leap into today
as do I

The puzzle pieces fail to fit
yet long to be accepted
as do I

The voiceless void creates a scene
and tears apart oblivion
as do I

Tomorrows shadows come to pass
knowing that they cannot last
but I go on

C.  Lon  R.  Bruso
— Lonnie, Jan 20, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New England, originally, now, Macon, N.C., USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Frost, Bob Dylan

More from this author

Critiques

Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Hi Lonnie, I’ve come to

Hi Lonnie, I've come to the conclusion that life is not a puzzle to put together (even if it is) but a miracle in which I shake an angry fist, tremble, love and abhor in the same breath. As I am. Nice poem. ~A p.s. pass.. tomorrow's
L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks, Anna!

Your words and comments are always greatly appreciated!
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Lonnie

Lifes puzzle pieces are not meant to be put together imo they are meant to be pondered and maybe when we have 'all' the answers ... they will slip together of their own accord ... sorry for rambling I really liked your poem btw third last line pas ? is it meant to be Pass ? or past ... love and hugs Jayne-Chloe
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Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you Jayne!

I fixed that line! Sorry for the goof-up! Glad you liked the poem otherwise, though, your opinions are greatly valued!
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

Love this, but...

I reckon you push the repetition just once too far. If the last line was a variation it could really add punch. Just my opinion. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks, Jess!

You're probably right and I may change it! Glad you liked the title, anyway!
S

Skumpfsklub

16 years 4 months ago

I hear an echo

of the "Protagoras" The poem illustrates but does not declare "Man is the measure of all things." A subtle bit of work, and genuinely philosophical in its effect. Perry
L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you, Perry!

Glad you stopped by to read and comment, as your input is always welcomely appreciated!
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

16 years 4 months ago

This is good Lonnie

It's deceptively simple in its phrasing and message, yet very powerful. I love the repetition. It serves to hook the images and message into the reader's mind. But I think that changing the last line so that it doesn't repeat would leave the reader with a certain stab of memory at the end that would make the poem more memorable. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

many thanks, Jim!

Jess Tapper seems to agree with you on the last verse! Maybe I'll have to take everyone's advice and make a change there! Thanks again!
L

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you, Kelsey!

Ewok's always know best, it seems! You agree with TWO others on that point, so I probably should make a change!
hugo la rosa

hugo la rosa

16 years 4 months ago

Lonnie:

I like Kailashana's words, so I may add: Einstein said once that we face reality in two ways: First: "As if there were no miracles at all", which might be true for those who believe so, because faith needs no proof; only confirmation. Second: "As if all that happened in the Universe were a glorious miracle." We are the living proof. We only need to reset by default the given love of life. We choose our feelings in the depths of Meditation. Your poem is really a Think-Tank of Life. I really love the spiritual power in it. Sincerely, Hugo
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 4 months ago

a charm in its simplicity

A seeking to understand the 'what' of life this little poem has a charm in its simplicity and puts us as humans in our rightful place, tiny pieces of the great whole the universe implies, we'll never know the half of it, but in our tentative way we can search and find our own happiness, our own niche in its incredible mysterious existence. I even think that your poem could be extended and include many more elements of philosophical thought in each new verse, and if well arranged in order it could be quite a stunning and special piece of art. Yours Ann of Norway.
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Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Ann!

Yes, perhaps this poem could be taken to higher limits, but maybe somebody more talented should try expounding on it! I'm lucky to have done as well as I did with it!
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 4 months ago

You underestimate yourself Lonnie

You underestimate yourself Lonnie, rise to the challenge before backing out, many a great piece comes of pushing oneself over the edge of that fence and into the flow of the river of words and then, yes, and then it comes, it runs across the page in a marathon race to get to the end and give one that feeling that it is complete. That's of course if the subject and the beginning has he inspirational potential in the first place, perhaps if one hasn't that fire within for exactly this subject then it would instead be an uphill journey. Good luck anyway on the next poems you never know when the poem will make you run away with your 'pen'! Do you? Love from Annskie bird