Fallen to a life of Crime

...this was an interesting effort, even for you ! Lol ! But, in the 5th "grouping" or stanza...there's an "e", at the end of the word, "breathe". Other than that, it was a wild ride, you klepto. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

ya little Klepto lol love hubby xoxoxoxoxoxo

I so relate. I feel u chick. SMILEY xxx

an interesting train of thought in this one. Nothing like compulsions to get you going lol. For me "disembobulating" is just too much of a mouthful and sticks out uncomfortably like a sore thumb. It could be simply "clouding all sense" although I am sure you can come up with something better. In the last verse personally I feel that the "drool pools" alliteration comes across as almost a little humorous...which is obviously not your intention. The final line about "becoming a kleptomaniac" again I question since I had assumed the kleptomania was an underlying condition waiting to be revealed. In that sense perhaps the last two lines could go something like: looking for the cracks that reveal (or feed) my kleptomania I enjoyed the poem though, especially the beginning. Love and hugs BB

I liked this very much, in fact, related to it more than I wish. It seems, like no matter what we do. . . this: 'I celebrate a minute and dedicate it to hours honouring a moment just one,' comes to this: time is unquenchable, forever devouring life down to the gritty bits But we'll keep 'pinching' those days, won't we? Yours, Deelilah

Top or toppers as the Norwegians are wont to say, the two sides of your face, the two worlds, the two sensations of normality and crime( not quite what I wanted) But this is good, damn good. I JUST LOVE THIS BIT:- "I wait for no other days so I pinch this one" Oh just pinch it dear Jayne, "Vi unner deg det" We wish it to be yours, your treat, the present always your treat, yes we do that's what it is, our feelings of understanding wrenched out of us with your every word, its pure beauty in the devastating truth of its message, you excel in this -putting of the right words in the right places- and showing us your richly painted poem, you word-monger par excellence! My Jayne of the wide open spaces of Australia and the fine wine of joy, Ann with her love on the sandy breezes to tap your face with sensitive compassion.

Again I sigh when I come to you. I was startled alive by the same paragraphs as Deelilah and have the same jarring of phrasings Prof made (Hi Keith, feeling better?) how about this? slavering to eat me alive drool pools on my window sill (this way it follows naturally) but I am thieving again I inhale breath by breath looking for the cracks to buy back my thievery (I don't think you need the word kleptomania...) Love you, Mum

sneak peek at the masks we use, discard and dig from the trash. I like the corrections you have made and think the poem works perfectly. ken

there is always another. Only how about you leave some of those hot and sultry days for me? Take a few of the cold dreary ones, I will leave them unattended. LOL Smile and shout in the shadows to make sunshine, and I will take them off your hands when you finish with them. ~ Love and hig bugs, ~ Gee

Well, try to put them at the begining of summer, maybe early June so that my sis's swimming pool heats up early in the season. LOL I love to swim and splash about in the water when I go up there. They live close by a lake, but it is mostly all posted, and even if it weren't, It is fed by underground springs, so that it is cold year round. I used to swim there once in awhile when I was a kid, and if you happen to cross through one of the springs bubbling up, you could freeze certain parts of your anatomy off! Love and hugs, ~ Gee

Fuck jayne, i hardly ever swear in comments, but this is just awsom. i love your work, i can see how your weaving themes together. Im looking forward to getting to know you better. vix ; )

We can only see so much at a time; the painted masterpiece is yet to be revealed by the heart. A great, a real poem, thanks. Sincerely, Hugo

I like the thought gone into this poem and it has a happy glow about it, comical to boot. You keep on pinching and thieving and stealing, you klepto you. Lol. A very well written piece. Love Lyz, XX