Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

weirdelf
weirdelf
Jan 19, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Another abyss

 


We are all standing around a hole in the ground
air is rushing up through it
little do we realise
it is not the air rushing up

pieces of nothing whirl around,
thoughts of us fall into the ground,
the hole looks pleased,
ideas maypole dancing
in the breeze

We dance round the hole in the ground
supposing that air rushes up from it
but the hole sits in the middle and knows:
the ground around falls



 

— weirdelf, Jan 19, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Critiques

Geezer

Geezer

16 years 4 months ago

Only a weird elf...

Would think that the ground was falling, but you know, I think you might be right! Great thoughts are sometimes thought by the most unlikely people. I will watch for falling ground! Maybe that is what an avalanche is? ~ Gee
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

funny thing

I have ski-ed avalanches. In my extreme sports days me and my mate would get to the top of the highest cornice after a big drop and edge to the edge till it crumbled under us and ski the avalanche. I still can only credit my still being alive to the protection of my guardian spirits. The ground was definitely falling. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 4 months ago

Guardian spirits...

know the one to save is the one who believes. Otherwise there would be no more guardian spirits. The ground fell with you hanging on! BTW Is that your tattoo? ~ Gee
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Did you ever see a great

Did you ever see a great kid's movie: The Neverending Story. A flick every adult should see.... Your poem reminds me of that. We cling to little pieces of falling sky and it feels like earth, it is we who disappear. Love you, Anna
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 4 months ago

Psst, read the book, Anna and Jess,

it's so incredibly better than the movie! I own one of the original edition, with red and green letters and beautiful illustrations, and it is one of my favourites even today, though I read it for the first time when I was , I dunno, maybe ten or twelve... Yours, ~Nina
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

I have read it,

and know the movie is only the first half of thebook.Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Nina I covet your book lol

Nina I covet your book lol its is a wonderful story no wonder I ahve the imagination I have the stuff I read as a child but I was about 15 when i read that one lol love and hugs Jayne x x x
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

16 years 4 months ago

Jess

What if it weren't the ground falling, but instead, the sky rising? :-) ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Life is the sun, and the show must go on; make it come true. Life is the sun, and the road goes on and on; paint this song any colour but blue." - Don Ross
xena465

xena465

16 years 4 months ago

Hi it's Xena465

I've read your poem submited today. It's a bit short but with big meaning. I wonder if you were inspired by the Earthquake in Hati, which I find one of the devastating quakes of all time, because of their lives before the quake? Xena
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

Would there be wind, Jess?

Fucked if I know, could be sky rising. You kinda nailed it, everything is indeterminate and relative Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

Xena, that's very insightful,

I didn't think of it but the earthquake may have stirred my thoughts about the transience of solidity. Regarding shortness. Read some haikus, I'll suggest some of mine 8) http://www.neopoet.com/node/31301 although there are several here, each one is a separate poem. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
O

orgami

16 years 4 months ago

Turn of thinking the new being

I am always evolving when I think I have been looking at something it changes me and I become the looking Love this short the "ground falling" because its presented in this manner I feel as if we were there feeling the air no one tells me the ground is falling not about what to believe but in being I immensely like this Weirdelf!!
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

thank you my friend,

I can always trust you to grasp the essence of what I am trying to say Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Manifest Destiny

Manifest Destiny To be or not to be is not the question, nor has it ever been the question how can I help myself to be? Lost, utterly gone, gone beyond, I am. ~A
Mark

Mark

16 years 4 months ago

lol it works

that last line being "matter of factually" written. Oh, this brings a vivid memory, a sort of cross wire maybe but looking out the window of a car suddenly had the unexplainable feeling the car (and I) was still and everthing I was looking at was moving. I wonder what that feeling would be called besides plain fucking weird lol Wish I wasn't tardy on this :) Mark "some things change, some things do not"
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

relativity. Ta mate,

and always resist the urge to get out of the car to check. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 4 months ago

So since the air is still

So since the air is still rushing up, the ground is still falling? I like the effect. I usauly want more, but that is part of your charm. Leaving us to want more. Right? Thanks for sharing your sparse and valid view. In a sea of words, yours are recognizable. Julie D.D.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Julie,

leaving them wanting more is probably a valid motive. But why I actual do it is in the poetic challenge of saying as much in as few words as possible, and leaving them thinking more. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Its funny what strikes

Its funny what strikes people about poetry for some it will be the ground falling the air rushing ... for me it was your first line and the hole in the ground ... applause love and hugs Jayne x x x x
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

Oh sister Seren, jolly Jayne!

That first line is what tickles me too! Why are all these idiots standing around looking at a hole in the ground? The rest I just made up as an excuse for posting that poem and making it sound profound. Well, that's my story and I' sticking to it for now, teehee Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

a hole falling

a hole falling? a hole falling! crikey, you got me there mate. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Omg you two just gave me an

Omg you two just gave me an idea for a poem ... and its all about a hole lmfao ... gotta love neopoet ... inspiration comes in the strangest ways lol thanks guys love and hugs Jayne x x x x
Q

Quillsvein1

16 years 4 months ago

Oh!

This aphoristic little piece is like a sock in the face. Very existential and at the same time grounded in reality. Yes, it is all slipping away, but not the all in all, not that. Excellent! GB
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 4 months ago

Jess,

I love the juxtaposition of those last two lines, but I believe the beginning may be polished here, not only is it a tad too obscure, but it also lacks a certain quality that usually can be found in your work, please do reconsider your word choices in that line and please do consider expanding. A couple of ideas to get you going: That hole in the ground stopped everyone in their tracks today Where did it come from? Has it been here all the time? Have we just not noticed? I'd love to see a little of what the bystanders think and feel when they discover that hole, and the hole should definitely remain obscure, only the "we" should be fleshed out in my opinion. Yours, ~Nina
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

I totally get what you are saying,

and see how it could make a better poem. My reluctance is in my love of the absurdists, are they all waiting for Godot? Like I said to Jayne, to me it is the core of the poem, the rest is just to create a pretense to read and comment on it. I could perhaps add some meaningless dialogue, it might be fun to do it in some strict poetic form. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

I totally disagree, Nina

I totally disagree, Nina The way Jess poeticized it, makes it Jess-unique. The questions are already self-evident, inherent in & to the poem. Some poems and readers need a sledge hammer. This one is already falling apart. But my take is just my take. ~A "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine
ANC1996

ANC1996

16 years 4 months ago

It smells kinda funny...

Just kidding!! This ones SO flippin' cool Jess. And i would ask what the word abyss meant: but i know you'd just tell me to go look in a dictionary and a bunch of other things about knowledge and yeahhh... But awesome poem: short but still every bit good :) Burger king taste like old people and cockroaches, Adri.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

I would not do this for many people, Adri

abyss 1. An immeasurably deep chasm, depth, or void: "lost in the vast abysses of space and time" (Loren Eiseley). 2. a. The primeval chaos out of which it was believed that the earth and sky were formed. b. The abode of evil spirits; hell. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
docmaverick

docmaverick

16 years 4 months ago

Wierdelf....

...this was a great poem, in that it provokes deep thought.....depending on the person. I like that it doesn't define...but, rather merely offers a direction in which to go. I prefer to think of it, as a cerebral contusion, cascading down the crevise of our lives. A fine effort. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

cerebral contusion eeewww

I guess in some ways it sounds deep, but is offered mostly as an excercise in absurdism, Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 4 months ago

I finally remembered

what this poem reminds me of: We dance round in a ring and suppose, / But the secret sits in the middle and knows. (Robert Frost) I boldly attempt poetic surgery (call me Dr Frankenstein): We dance round a hole in the ground suppose that air rushes up from it but the hole sits in the middle and knows: it is not the air rushing up it is the ground falling Yours, ~Nina
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

Wow! Anthropomorphising a hole!

that is really stretching the envelope! I am going to post it with this one, they work together. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Ahhhhh I read Ninas earlier

Ahhhhh I read Ninas earlier ... if i could i would give you more stars ... brilliant work both of you love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

pieces of nothing whirl

pieces of nothing whirl counter clock wise, thoughts of us fall into the ground, the hole looks pleased, like maypoles dancing in the breeze ~A "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 4 months ago

Anthropomorphism is the

Anthropomorphism is the attribution of human characteristics to non-human creatures and beings, phenomena, material states and objects or abstract concepts. Examples include animals and plants and forces of nature such as winds, rain or the sun depicted as creatures with human motivation able to reason and converse. The term derives from the combination of the Greek ἄνθρωπος (ánthrōpos), "human" and μορφή (morphē), "shape" or "form". It is strongly associated with art and storytelling where it has ancient roots. Most cultures possess a long-standing fable tradition with anthropomorphised animals as characters that can stand as commonly recognised types of human behavior. Just for all of us you didn't know what the hell Anthropomorphising was. I do now. LOL D.D.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

or http://www.thefreedictionary.com/

or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page there are so many resources on the web that I feel free to be sesquipedalian without the need to spoon feed people, but thanks Julie also the Free Online Rhyming Dictionary at http://www.rhymer.com/ . There are so many Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 4 months ago

It was a Joke Jess, But

It was a Joke Jess, But your welcome. I was just emphasizing that you send us to the dictionary. I was saving people the trip. And as you egotisticaly mentioned in chat, but correct, you do use the widest vocabulary of anyone "you" know. Certainly got me beat. And I actually love the challenges, as any one who sees all the challenges I accept, usualy in writng, or that I respond to. Challenge here was "Spoon fed" and what the hell, "sesquipedalian" meant. Now I would never want you to bring your level of writing down, or make it "lesser". its supposed to represent the best we have to offer and progressively move forward. Also as a writer it is vital to write for oneself. But here, on your work, when I read your stuff it tends to extend in to my interest in human psychology and motivations. Goals, and results. You provide a great challenge. An interesting human study. And I will never mistake that for knowing you. My point, in my opinion with out having some understanding of such, would make it almost impossible to understand your way of writing for the average reader. (Not that many at Neo qualify as average though. Aren't we lucky.) BUT with in trying to figure it out, is where I learn so much. Challenge continued. I always learn something Jess. Somtimes I am left to wonder why you want to send us to the dictionary and left to ammaturely decipher your meaning. But in contemplating it, I learn alot. And unless you bite my head off for analyzing it, I will be back. Julie D.D. PS. I am an egotist too. I think I have some of the best conversational vocabulary of "most" people I know. It wasn't meant to be derogatory. "sesquipedalian" Pertaining to or given to the use of overly long words. Learned something else.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

No head biting, promise.

Analyse to your hearts consent but the Surgeon General has determined that analysing Weirdelven poetry can be injurious to your mental health. 8) Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
mona

mona

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Jess

You told me once that some times you become sad when people don't understand the meaning behind your poems ,I would like you to explain to me some things before I give my comment , We are all standing around a hole in the ground air is rushing up through it little do we realise it is not the air rushing up pieces of nothing whirl around, thoughts of us fall into the ground, the hole looks pleased, ideas maypole dancing in the breeze We dance round the hole in the ground supposing that air rushes up from it but the hole sits in the middle and knows: the ground around falls I feel you have used metaphorical expressions that covered the meaning you need to say ,so would you explain to me which ( Another abyss ),we are talking about here. Mona
weirdelf

weirdelf

15 years 11 months ago

mona, the meaning of this is largely yours,

may I suggest you read other people's comments here and my responses and then tell me what it feels like to you and we can discuss it, ok? Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,