Secret

Ah Steven, how I miss you & the other good & creative souls here on Neo! & what a pleasure as always to read anything from you, I LOVEthe way you write, mere conversation is poetic beneath your pen. I envy you your tendencies then if you go over things & are picky... I know it is sorely missing in my busy days, I am an improvisor through & through & when I pour myself to a thing, I feel I have no time to do much beyond a relatively quick proof read... I know I would be a far better writer if I gave it the time & attention as you do... though I think, it is more than that that makes you such a brilliant writer. That is an interesting phrase, & new to me, & I can see the attraction given the context... such insights are really valuable (I doubt the phrase would ave appealed so much without your observations, so I thank you) & you are full of them Steven, I love it. Yes, I know what you mean though, about loving people who can see a fracture where a fracture shouldn't be... that is what I think of as mastery, or an element of it, you have it, you have applied yourself so you might & it is well worth celebrating. You also have the art of being relatively succinct as well, another thing I envy (in a companionable way as with everything) & a gift in this world of little time & little practice at being "present" to things. I also recognise what you say regarding the hyper awareness & the blindness duality, you know I think it goes with many genius minds & often Asbergers too (often both together), I seem to be a magnet to Asbergers folk, there is an exceptional brilliance though & a sensitivity & vulnerability too rare in humanity, yet as you point out, it often carries a stubborn & emotionally labile blindness that is feircely defended. & as you also suggest we are all better off with mirrors of those around us (even if it is an angle we prefer to ignore), we have so much to see that we cannot without others... This is a valuable wisdom to have I believe. Yes, water, it has such a call to me, for all kinds of reasons, to view it or to be immersed, such different experiences I love so very much, it is such a consciousness altering thing to spend time below the water's surface. I know of your resistance to height & boats... I think these are related to experiences that make us less able to trust (the vehicle or what ever is keeping us so far above the distant land), I had to make such effort to overcome that sensation, perhaps it is a natural human aversion that some of us overcome, it makes sense to fear a potentially dangerous situation... for me the rewards were so intensely rich that I do it despite a sense of fear... I think what brought me to do those things initially was a sense that there was nothing to lose way back then... the worst I could do was die, & the in betweens felt hardly worse than what I'd been through, life is different now, but I already know the rewards. Harder to overcome such things as we get older maybe though, I was so young when I first did such things as fly or dive or gymnastic/acrobatic endeavours. I am so glad you enjoy my blabs, I so enjoy yours as you must know, you are an incredible writer Steven & an amazing human being... I have missed being in contact, I don't even have access to email at the moment, & no time for Facebook, though there are some very enticing comments & invitations therein... I hope you are well & I so look forward to reading what I am missing out on... hope you are writing lots. Cheers xx Anni~ "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet.