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Ink Dragon

Jan 15, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Fate's twisted ankle

Fate stumbles, staggers
I hesitate on the threshold
afraid I might trip

Fate trips, loses balance
I dangle from her shoulder
afraid I might sway

Fate sways and writhes
I slip out of her arms' reach
afraid I might break

Fate breaks, lets me slip
I fall without direction
afraid of new turns

Fate turns, then she rises
she lies through gritted teeth
It's only a twisted ankle, honey

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16 years 3 months ago

my God

This is just incredible, Nina. You bring me to the brink of tears. No more I can say right now. Always, Mark "some things change, some things do not"

I

16 years 3 months ago

Mark,

you angelic being ;) Thanks for the read and the comment. Yours, ~Nina

L

lyz

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Nina

This is only a clever poem honey, lol. Nicely done. Still smiling. Love Lyz. XX

I

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Lyz,

This is only a nice comment, honey ;) Thank you very much for making me smile. Yours, ~Nina

16 years 3 months ago

You're pulling or legs here Nina

You twister twisting our thoughts and then Zen-like turning the end, twisting the end of you leg, you're pulling our legs here Nina mina, great poem. Ann of Legoland.

I

16 years 3 months ago

Ann of Legoland!

Can I send my kids round, they'd love a trip to Legoland ;) Nah, only kidding, of course. This was fun to write, glad you had fun reading it. Yours, ~Nina

16 years 3 months ago

twist me into a pretzel

Could read writes like this all day, to each his own (or hers)..... Mark "some things change, some things do not"

I

16 years 3 months ago

twists Mark into a pretzel

ooops, Mark, I think I have just bitten off your head. Sorry! Yours, ~Nina

16 years 3 months ago

Nina...

A really good title, it will draw many in for the read, and quite a wonderful read it is. The only suggestion I could possibly come up with is this, third stanza "of her", I think could be omitted, or not. Great ending line Nina! Richard

I

16 years 3 months ago

Hmmm...

Thank you for the suggestion, Richard, I will definitely think about this line some more. Yours, ~Nina

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

I love twisted endings.Well

I love twisted endings. Well done, Nina. ~A

I

16 years 3 months ago

I love twisted comments.

Thank you, Anna. Yours, ~Nina

Q

16 years 3 months ago

We are always

without directions, I suppose, except one set we hate to look at. I love the ending--twisted in it's physical twistedness. Well done. GB

I

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Quill,

always a pleasure to have you and your critical eye pay a visit. Thank you. Directions are not easy to come by nowadays, there simply are too many of them... Yours, ~Nina

16 years 3 months ago

Nina

Twist me round your pen anytime ;) loved this twisted tale ... great read love and hugs Jayne x x

I

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Jayne,

consider yourself twisted ;) (hugs) Yours, ~Nina

16 years 3 months ago

Ms. Nina....

...'twas a refreshing poem, not too fruity, whispy, with a sudden impish quality ! Nicely done, as I tip my hat. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

I

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Doc,

impish, I like that :) Thanks. Yours, ~Nina

DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 3 months ago

I have been following this

I have been following this since you gave the challenge to Tink. I love the way you turned it out. But now that we are done, I am left wondering.... where was the inspriation for the title? And are you satisfied with the results yourself? Julie D.D.

I

16 years 3 months ago

Hi Julie,

the title is one that came to me ages ago, it was one of those "titles that need poems", as Tink likes to call them. No idea when/why/how/where that was... What I had in my early drafts of this poem I have meanwhile used in other poems, so I had to come up with a lot of new words and lines... I am now more happy with this poem than I ever was with any of my earlier drafts. I hope some others will post their "Fate's twisted ankle" poem, too, and am working on the other challenges now. Yours, ~Nina

16 years 3 months ago

mmm, we are our own fate,

grappling and writhing with our self determination, scary ourselves, but going on bravely biting back tears what else to do? Just my twisted take on it. Similar suggestion to Richards Fate sways and writhes I slip out of her arms’ reach afraid I might break Fate sways and writhes I slip out of arms reach afraid I might break Scans better, and looks better, the apostrophe can be taken as given, n'est-ce pas? Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

I

16 years 3 months ago

And you are right, both of you,

that line is stumbly. Will do an edit ASAP. Thanks, Jess and Richard! Yours, ~Nina

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Nina

'Fate turns, then she rises she lies through gritted teeth It’s only a twisted ankle, honey' I like the realistic ending as well, like to do that sort of ending myself. It does, however, remind me that, twice, through gritted teeth, fate told me: It's only a broken ankle, honey. Those twists of fate changed my life to a degree. I agree with Jess on that one line. Yours, Deelilah

I

16 years 3 months ago

Dear Dee,

I agree on that one line, too :) Yes, sometimes fate throws something in our way and we stop in our tracks or are slowed down or turned around... Yours, ~Nina

I

Idlemindwondering

16 years 3 months ago

Hi Nina

I like the personal voice, the familiar relationship you have created here. personifying fate as if she too struggles - unsure, guessing her way, and suffering mistakes. We often see fate as all-knowing and merciless, but perhaps she is as molded as us.:) I thought the use pronouns over done but when I tried to rewrite it I found the voice harder and the tempo too quick without them. so I will like it as is. :) ken

I

16 years 3 months ago

Hi Ken,

I don't exactly see an alternative for the pronouns either... was it the repetitive first person pronoun that felt awkward? Thanks for the thoughtful comment, always appreciated :) Yours, ~Nina

I

Idlemindwondering

16 years 3 months ago

YW

probably the "I"'s but all could be trimmed some, yet as I said It did not work well when I tried so good luck :) ken

D

16 years 3 months ago

dang

o.o are you the professional on this sight? cuz it sure seems like it o.o great work!

I

16 years 3 months ago

Thank you, Dark_Death,

I am hardly "the" professional here, but one of those who strive to be professional. Thank you for the read and the comment. Yours, ~Nina

T

16 years 3 months ago

inky dink, my dragon's ink

love your poem. am still working on mine. had it started in a comment to you here, but hit the wrong button and it all disappeared. this has proved to be a hard challenge to me. I don't "see" this title clearly. I see myself running in different directions Trying to catch it Stumbling at every turn. ... Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

I

16 years 3 months ago

Darling Tink,

guess why I had this title up my sleeve? I started writing this poem more than two years ago, but always ran in different directions or straight into a solid wall when trying to come up with a poem that fit! Glad mine seems to be working FINALLY! Yours, ~Nina