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Bonitaj
Bonitaj
Jan 17, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

PSUEDO-SATISFACTION

She's frigid, he's truculent -secretly lamenting the falsehood of their lives,milking the breast of promiseson the inadequacy of broken ties,succumbing to the numbness -the failure to live or to die.  Stained sheets of longinglovers' fetid cries,the gracious, transmuting magic lost,on fraudulent feelings,stifled sighs. the living and partly living*"lovely all the time!" she liesThe nano secondsof knowing -the inherent loss of staying -                   or saying goodbye...  BjR  17 January '09

* T.S. Eliot
— Bonitaj, Jan 17, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

More from this author

Critiques

Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Lol. Pseudo satisfaction.

Lol. Pseudo satisfaction. Like that (in)famous scene in When Harry Met Sally? Great Poem Boni, much enjoyed. The other side of the other side, eh? Sadly. ~Anna
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

I appreciate the nihilistic

I appreciate the nihilistic honesty of this. Normally I don't like love/lost love poems because they are usually badly written, sentimental, cliched and melodramatic. This is quite an exception. “lovely all times” ? perhaps “lovely at all times” or “lovely all the time” or “always lovely”? Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 4 months ago

Hi Jess!

Glad you picked up on that innuendo. Somehow I set it up the way it is to imply an Eastern woman speaking, broken Chinese/English... to suggest supplication and subordination. Not that I'm being disrespectful to any particular group, it just surfaced like that! If you feel it's still wrong or inappropriate - I'd be interested to know and change it! Thanks Boni
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

I would either make it more obviously

broken english, like lovely all time good (wracking my brains for how my Japanese girlfriend of years ago might have said it, and no, she was in no way supplicating or subordinate!) even (cringing) all time plenty good or revert to correct English. There is nothing else in the poem to suggest her ethnicity. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
L

lyz

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Boni

Complacent, thats how I see some relationships, or just comfortable, always the question, is there more. You have written this in a subtle way and I enjoyed it as is, but hey, I like what like. Well done. Love Lyz. XX
kowque

kowque

16 years 4 months ago

hmmm…now i am scared to

hmmm...now i am scared to hope,to love...to live a lie... is this what come after the the end of the fairytale...after the movie credits are over...? i loved this one thank you -awed and humlbed by your words, kowque
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 4 months ago

Glad that you liked it!

but guilty in the sense that you who are youthful and ever hopeful - shouldn't be exposed to this nihilistic pile of ashes! ;) Thanks littl' sista! Boni