First attempt at a Haiku

Your first attempt was successful. Nice imagery Chrys

Daniel, imo, a perfect one. I often do Haikuesque poems... and in another group we often end with 10 or 15 poems from each poet... the creativity surges from one to the other... I love it as it is. however, cranes wheeling, dancing dying light so beautiful I almost cried Love, Anna

Lovely, Moritake haiku. I think once you try a haiku, you're hooked. How can so few words create so much beauty, emotion? Yet it does. I'll be looking for more from you Daniel. ~A

If you want more room to write in a similar form, consider "tanka." "In Japanese, tanka is often written in one straight line, but in English and other languages, we usually divide the lines into the five syllabic units: 5-7-5-7-7. Usually, each line consists of one image or idea; unlike English poetry, one does not seek to 'wrap' lines in tanka, though in the best tanka the five lines often flow seamlessly into one thought."

Daniel, I like your first attempt. Beautiful. * It lights up as lightly as it fades a firefly * * Moeyasuku mata kieyasuki hotari kana * by Chine 1688 * from the book called Japanese death poems. love. o molly ps. because most Japanese words end in one of five vowels rhymed poetry would be very bland. Japanese poems are not in fact rhymed but another device, the alteration of five - and seven-syllable lines, creates a rhythm peculiar to Japanese poetry. Most tanka contain two poetic images, The first is taken from nature, the second which may precede, follow, or be woven into the first is a kind of meditative complement to the nature image. Tanka produce a certain dreamlike effect, presenting images of reality without that definite quality of ' realness' often possesed by photogrphs or drawings, as if the image proceeded directly from the mind of the dreamer. The tanka poet may be likened to a person holdin two mirrors in his hands, one reflecting a scene from nature, the other reflecting himself as he holds the first mirror. The tanka thus provides a look at nature, but regards the observer of nature as well. The haiku is not merely a compact tanka, ; the fourteen syllables dropped from the tanka, so to speak, in order to produce a haiku, are in effect the mirror that reflects the poet. Haiku shattered the self-reflecting mirror, leaving in the hands of the poet only the mirror that reflects nature. A tanka written by Ki - no - Tsurayuki ( 870 - 945 ) * Winds passing through the shaded grove weigh down my robe with the scent of blossoms *