The wedding(edited)

You dont muck about ... i love that about you ... you dive in head first and take risks ... and thats all part of improving ... I took heaps of risks not all paid off .. but i've learnt from them ... I love your writing the rawness of it ... will come back later when the nights quieter and i can have an indepth read love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe ...

I got everything crossed for you Vix ... you really are a fine poet ... dont ever let anyone tell you different love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x

Madame F, you have truly found your own unique, strong & resplendent, raw & edgy poetic voice. As Brian would say: Congradulations. This poem makes me think twice about hurrying down any aisle again, lol. It reminds me of Billy Idol's White Wedding for some reason. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AofzLsvTsM0 It's such a cool video and he was gorgeous. Hugs, Anna

Cradled in his foots arch she dressed herself black readying to, ascend the dreaded wedding march The walk of death, matrimonial self annihilation. I like the theme , the knowing walk into hell. Black as a wedding dress and the contradiction of care by being cradled in the foot arch rather than the wedding arch. It works and gets the reader eased into discomfort for what follows.. the alliteration may work better with prayed rather than preyed but it swiftly moves on in sentiment to reinforce the feelings of continued imprisonment and that really does work well as the nervous bride frets and worries and realises her lack of courage lost to someone..the return of backbone ( from where whom?) there on its about powerlessness with no answer or solution. Its gravity in action s she falls into palm as dust. I like the them and the sentiments Vicki ( except for that jarring phrase - an almost violent declaration which could be replaced with a more constructive and furthering expression , less cliché and insipid). The structuring of the piece could be made a lot better and as a result its clarity heightened and pace measured and controlled. A good write . Cradled in his foots arch she dressed (herself?) black readying to ascend the dreaded wedding march. Two days and 16 (sixteen) months (she )peeped, pried preyed, (prayed?) peered from under and between the fibers( fibres) of his sock fed on fingers bitten to the stump cobweb smiles dust pink skin something rotted (;) belligerently she offered rewards for her backbones return (,) small pieces lost each time he paced the worn red church carpet in apathetic anticipation (.) veil made of lace carbon fiber(fibre)(,) a garter crafted of stone shackles(,) she needed no shoes for she wore his (.) (S)something borrowed, something blue (...) an almost violent declaration (,) kisses bestowed from thorns (,) eyes that seeped skeletons(.) He took her into his palm crushed her gently placing the remnants upon his shoulder (.) (S)she rode there down the isle (.) You may like to rewrite this with a little more shape but of course you don't have to listen to anyone.

I totally dig this piece, for a variety of reasons. 1) great word choices 2) great imagery 3) theme (updated my wedding poem this week) 4) theme (for personal reasons) You are clearly growing by leaps and bounds. Yours, ~Nina