Vanishing Point

I'm really glad you like it. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it. All the best, Daniel

Dear Nicole, First of all, thank you for being so honest. I really appreciate it for none of us can hope to improve without being subjected to the light of honest criticism. I think the other three stanzas may be cliches in the sense that they describe common experiences, but they do actually refer to situations I had experienced and remembered when I sat down to write the poem. I recall being struck by the white hot disc of the sun moving from east to west very slowly while this chain of low winter clouds charged along hurriedly in the opposite direction. I liked that image, I thought there must be a metaphor there of chasing things that have already departed; that are actually moving in the opposite direction. The title of the poem and the vanishing point stanza only came to me later when I stalled after finishing the first two stanzas. I do agree though that this poem is very much in my comfort zone and it is good to be challenged to produce something different and more daring. I do love William Carlos Williams. As you say his poems are grounded in things rather than lofty abstract ideas. I haven't read him for a while, and have been reading quite a bit of Wallace Stevens lately, so perhaps that explains why the poem isn't as grounded as it could be. Another reason might be that I kept revising it, trying to boil it down to its essence, to weed out all unnecessary words and sometimes you can lose the substance of the poem by doing that. Thank you also for turning my attention to THE RED WHEELBARROW. I had forgotten that poem, but rereading it now I am struck by the way Williams has captured that split second of perception; the contrast between red and white and all the connotations in between. It is very much like a Haiku in the sense that it tries to say as much as possible in as few words as possible, and I'm sure that is a good discipline for all aspiring poets to acquire. THE RED WHEELBARROW so much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens Yours, Daniel

Thanks for your comment. I often feel the same way as you about my poems so I wouldn't worry too much. The best advice I can give is to read and absorb as much poetry as you can and start posting on the site. That way you can start developing the technique necessary to realize your poetic vision on the page. Yours, Daniel