I am a Criminal

In Greece to travel alone
means you are a criminal strange
with no friends to call your own

all greeks suspect me of
great crimes once they know
I am just I me myself

some call me brave like
two old men I chatted with
on the side of cloudy Olympus

I am not brave

I am terrified of every day’s
possibilities thrust upon me by
another rising sun and set moon

my fear of settling is what
thrusts me from my sweat stained
bed at the conclusion of dreams

I have not the courage
to stay under the gaze of
mother television or computer

to suffer silently the warmth
of a forty hour work week
I am just not that strong

I am too weak to hold
a friend for long and must
reap new companions daily

I have not the endurance
for rush hour traffic drive
thru lines or gym runs in adidas

I am envious of the giants of
the world dressed in sameness
sitting daily in internet omniscience

I am a criminal on the run
terrified of the constant stillness
of you the strong innocent brave

— Ladderwords, Jan 13, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Jeju, KOR

Critiques

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

You pack much power in this poem.

Wow. You pack much power in this poem. There is so much to be said for breaking away from the norm, being lonely in a crowd, being viewed by the masses - scrutinized. I might update this line: "thru lines or gym runs in adidas" from "thru" to "through" In particular, I loved these lines: "I have not the courage to stay under the gaze of mother television or computer" How I felt "big brother" in these words. I don't know if you were heading there or not, but my own comfort at times rests in the computer or the television ... Made me think on how "controlled" I feel just about now. I love when a poem hits hard and home, makes a reader think and evaluate self. Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to the site. I look forward to reading more of your work. ~Pamela

Idlemindwondering

16 years 4 months ago

Very nice

first post! My thoughts are that we are all the same, the differences are just illusions meant to isolate. you have asked for the truth; I will offer my opinion and you may choose what is best. Stanza's 5 and 6 would be better consolidated as they speak of the same moment and could be more concise. and L3 of s7 might read better as: "to stay under the gaze of electronic manipulations" welcome aboard ken

themoonman

16 years 4 months ago

Welcome...

I have to agree with the others here, a very good first post. The last line in stanza two caused me to stumble a bit, not sure, but I believe it could be smoother. Welcome to the site

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

is a person a criminal for

is a person a criminal for walking alone? some would think so. nicely done.. and it's always a walk on the path less traveled, eh. Welcome, poet! ~A

Ladderwords

16 years 4 months ago

I was trying to remember

I was trying to remember McDonalds when I wrote this and whether or not it said "drive thru" or "drive through" on their cheap yellow signs.

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

This is either very clever or a bit cowardly

I honestly can't tell to what extent you are being ironic. Surely you must be when you talk of being weak or cowardly in embracing a difficult lifestyle that can only nurture the soul of a poet. The idea of the work being cowardly is that maybe you are being diplomatic, not wanting to offend the drones that live to other people's expectation. I came to this after finding your poem "Having Sex Above Her Head" left without comment for four weeks, wanting to know a bit more about you. Have you been commenting on other people's works? Neopoet is a workshop, you need to give to get known and get. The work is very good... excellent use of language and imagery, I'm just not sure how to read it. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

Ladderwords

16 years 2 months ago

Jess,First lemme thank you

Jess, First lemme thank you for your comment. I actually have been inactive in the community since I left to live in South Korea about a month ago. I've had to get my feet on the ground and become an English teacher, not to mention get my hands on some internet in my apartment. Getting connected in Korea is a wonderfully complicated and bureaucratic process, especially when you don't know the language, The e-mail I received about your comment has gleefully dragged me back into this neighborhood of poets. Now to address your comments about my poem. I tried to pump the poem full of irony. You are correct in your first observation, I am indeed making an ironical statement. As for the second, about "the work" being cowardly, I think that you are referring to the work of the poet being cowardly. This is not what I intended. I was referring to the work of the "drone's" forty hour work week as a warm place to hide from the honest, isolated, and internal work of the poet. When I write "I am just not that strong" at the end of the stanza, I am saying that I cannot submit myself to those chains; an attempt to claim my perceived "weakness" as a real strength. Be Well, Josh