odd molly

Jan 12, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

bumblebees

it was therewhen you changed colourand between sleep and awakeI loved every word you would ride out and pick bumblebees your dreaming dizzinesslike a mad happyslot machine we had a coffee party behind your closed eyelids to just hearand caress the edge of your imaginationto feel you as happiness

— odd molly, Jan 12, 2010

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Critiques

Lonnie

16 years 4 months ago

very thought-provoking!

I'm not entirely sure what the message is here, but I do applaud the context of the poem and the way it sounds in the ear!

odd molly

16 years 4 months ago

Thank You so much Lonnie for

Thank You so much Lonnie for visiting my page and reading my poem. I am happy about the thought that you like the sound of my bumblebees poem. love. o molly

Orphani

16 years 4 months ago

Only you could transfix the

Only you could transfix the reader with your exotic, off angle, imagery that jars the reader into your sense of; yes I am uniquely Molly odd so watch out for the bend I,m going to take at ninety miles an hour.How do you get ready for a line like this. It's so other worldly and for me caps another talented beautiful work of poetic art. Superb.B

odd molly

16 years 4 months ago

Thank You so much B for the

Thank You so much B for the comments. Yes I guess life is a form of many different angles and poetry is a lovely thing. and thank you again for visiting my page so often. It means a lot to me. love. o molly

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

I love bumblebees… that

I love bumblebees... that crazy colour combination, and just how can those tiny wings carry such a huge body? Intriguing is a word I must use for your poem, OM (hey I like that, OM!) I only question *to just hear* or is it *just to hear*... that would depend on whether the preceding sentence or the following one is of consequence for the integrity of the poem. ~A

odd molly

16 years 4 months ago

Yes dear A bumblebees are

Yes dear A bumblebees are fantastic and I love their sound and how they move so slowly and kind of clumsy. Thank You for the comments about my poem.. I do love the little silly things in life.. Love to you. o molly

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 4 months ago

Molly have you ever thought about doing a...

My goodness Molly have you ever thought about doing a Through The Looking Glass type tale? You would have a best seller on your hands! I love bumblebees as ceatures, the dizzy and daintiliness of them and the fact they are so gentle and their striped yellow bodies are so lovely so I was immediately drawn in by your title and there I was taken to a fantasia. A special place that only you could take a reader Molly, where reality is a dream and the dream is a reality that uplifts us to lofty heights and dances with us in a freefall of heavenly imagination... where we can slip between the chrome plated slot of a one-armed bandit, have rampant coffee fuelled parties, catch bumblebees and realise the infinate world of the mind. Simply stunning Molly... I love it! Dale :)

odd molly

16 years 4 months ago

DaleI was happy that you saw

Dale I was happy that you saw the dream in my poem because that is just what it is. I woke up with a smile and bumblebees are fantastic little creatures even the name bumble bee sound lovely to me. Thank You so much for your most wonderful comments. I read your new poem and I loved it. Love. o molly

Heading South

16 years 4 months ago

Bumblebees

It was there between sleeping and waking that we would ride out and pick bumblebees like mad happy slot machines partying behind closed eyelids caressing the edge of our imagination experiencing each other as happiness... I love the poem as it is but just thought I would add my interpretation. That line "like mad happy slot machines" has really stuck in my mind - it is that good. Yours, Daniel

odd molly

16 years 4 months ago

Daniel I like your version

Daniel I like your version of my poem. The script for this poem was born from a dream I had a couple of nights ago. I wrote of the dream directly when I awoke in the morning. It is wonderful having happy dreams and how they are played on in a kind of naive way. I love bumble bees and their buzzing. I'll look more at how I've written and maybe I want to change a bit in the word order and grammar. Thank you for your comments and feedback. I am always happy and most honoured to have you visit my page. love. o molly

Nicole Michaels

16 years 4 months ago

Busy bee

I do fragments and no caps. Perfect here, I think, for a humble or humblebee subject. Nice and understated. Love the picking bumblebees. Rework and trash the last stanza. Not up to par with the rest.

odd molly

16 years 4 months ago

Dear NicoleThank you so much

Dear Nicole Thank you so much for your comment and for your version of my poem (message) I loved what you wrote. As I said to Daniel I wrote this poem early one morning when I woke up from this happy buzzing bumblebee dream. Iam going to look and consider your suggestions. Have visited your page and I can see that you are an experienced writer and I really like your first poem. I ll come back again to read more. It is lovely that you love horses too. love. o molly

Craig Norris

16 years 4 months ago

to just hear

and caress the edge of your imagination to feel you as happiness adrift in linen clouds along glassed canyons of stone before the eagle and the owl where the snow flows in rivers immaculate we measure nothing that we do not wish to lose Love and love Craig

odd molly

16 years 4 months ago

Craigyour comment is very

Craig your comment is very beautiful and the eagle and the owl is always here watching over me and us. thank you so much,I love to have you visiting. love and love o molly