Pamela A. Lamppa

Jan 12, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Moon Strain (Sapphic Ode)

Moon Strain (Sapphic Ode)

She mourns with tears in crescent form
surrounded by a starlit sky
to rise with evening and transform
for passers by.

As light has brought her shine to dark
her winsome worry sorrows long
where care has left its glistened mark
in solemn song.

Such aria upon the wind
glows radient within her tears.
An incandescence to rescind
her darker fears.

With carried tune deep in her chest
that beats as night moves faster on
it changes places at her breast
and becomes dawn.

And with its lift, her set is clear,
she fades with heart into new blue;
a ghost moon to bring morning near
with sunrise due.

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Sapphic Ode (Pope Style)

Reference Specs for Sapphic Ode (Pope Style)
http://www.poeticportal.net/component/option,com_glossary/func,view/Itemid,33/catid,360/term,Sapphic+Ode/

An example of this form written by Alexander Pope may be found here:
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ode-on-solitude/

— Pamela A. Lamppa, Jan 12, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New England - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Frost, Robert Louis Stevenson, William Butler Yeats, John Keats, Pablo Neruda, Algernon Charles Swinburne, T.S. Elliott, and too many more to begin to cover them all.

Critiques

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Pamela

I do not feel well enough informed to critique this one though I have read Alexander Popes before... thanks for sharing this beauty and it is beautiful love and hugs Jayne x x

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you Seren

I am pleased you enjoyed this one and I hope it falls in line with poems about the moon that were suggested by Ann. So pleased you enjoyed. I have a love for this form in particular ... and the moon. Thanks again. ~Pamela

Ross Hamilton Hill

16 years 4 months ago

This is a beautiful

This is a beautiful composition. only one criticism has heightened her glowing tears. seems to flow better really like An incandescence to rescind and such aria upon the wind Beautiful imagery and very pure harmonies. Much appreciated.

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you

I like the flow in your suggested line as well. However, it falls out of syllable count in accordance with the specs of this form. I wonder though, the line makes you trip and it makes me trip so it needs a change. Let's try: brings heightened glow within her tears Thoughts? I will be anxious to hear what you think. Thank you again. I appreciate your close eye and thoughts for improvement very much. THAT is why I am here. YAY ~Pamela

docmaverick

16 years 4 months ago

Would....

..."her radience glows within her tears", work? Just an idea. I liked the flow of your piece. Thanks, for this. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you so much.

I wish ... but it must be 8 syllables to stay within form specs. I appreciate the suggestion though. Let's see: How about just: "radiance glows within her tears" or am I getting too convoluted? I don't know ... Thoughts? Thank you so much. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. ~Pamela

Ross Hamilton Hill

16 years 4 months ago

your poem

yes much better, I think having 'has' before 'heightened' tended to draw out 'heightened' too much. AS you know it's as much about word combinations as syllabul counts. I urge you to repost the new version so it gets seen by more people.

Idlemindwondering

16 years 4 months ago

Beautiful expression of the

Beautiful expression of the lonely light; as always dear one.

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you my love ...

you know my work so well ... and my world.

Ink Dragon

16 years 4 months ago

Pam,

this is elegant. I marvel at the ease with which you pull off verse and metre, each time I read your poems. Yours, ~Nina

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you Nina

I hope it makes the mark for entering a moon poem. *smile* I love Sapphic Ode for its song-like approach. I have a line that's iffy though and I think I am going to work it with the ideas I have received. YAY. Thank you again for popping by to leave your impressions. I appreciate it very much. ~Pamela

Nordic cloud

16 years 4 months ago

This is truly beautiful, beautiful beautiful.

That's exactly where I tripped up too Pamela I would not trip, when floating o'er the sky in tints of white and blue, with you. This is truly beautiful, beautiful beautiful. "to rise with evening and transform  for passers by." This bit makes me think of one time when I was coming back from town, just having got off the tram, I suddenly noticed the clouds were mother-of-pearl like rainbows, or the aurora borealis, and stood to admire them, saying something to the person beside me hurrying home from work: "look isn't it wonderful" and they looked up in shock,to say: " yes, I never look at the sky, from now on I shall." That is a lovely thing to experience when one awakes another's interest in those wonderful things in nature. This poem does the same thing, catches our wonder, our attention fixed on that magic presence in the sky and makes it speak its heart.

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you Ann

I am so pleased you enjoyed this Sapphic Ode and have made an update to the line in question that I am pleased with. To have seen the Aurora Borealis is a gift and I am so pleased that you have. I saw them many times while growing up in northern Minnesota, but never to the extent as those who lived further north. Still, they are a wonder to behold. Your story touches me, finds a special place inside, and I too will remember to always look to the sky. Thank you Ann. You began a beautiful topic on Neo and I am pleased to have participated. ~Pamela

Electric Blue

16 years 4 months ago

Sapphic Ode

Pamela Beautiful my dear friend This touched me so of one who knows of many lonely nights staring at the moon knowing that a special someone will be watching too. The changeling moon can make me blue sorrow carried on the restless wind melodies of the night held within Blue moon hides in my soul cries in the desert go thirsty so thirsty for love's word Moon wishes sent often in the shadows of the halo magic shine The Aurora Borealis no magic can compare as each time we are mesmerised and become part of the cosmos time after time I too wrote a poem called Aurora Borealis some time ago. Electric Blue

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

Thank you

I am so pleased you popped by to read and leave your thoughts and impressions. There is something quite special that happens between a poet and the moon. Thank you again. I would love to read your poem titled Aurora Borealis.

Nordic cloud

16 years 4 months ago

You inspired me right now:-

"Those Northern Lights" Ann 2010 2 pm 23rd january. Aurora borealis those Nordic lights that flash the sky and dance their mystic flowing gowns of green and red of all the colours of the rainbow so 'tis said, but when they form the shape so still and beautiful is when in yellow they are clothed they lift the drapes in spokes of waving fabric, light up to a crown within their centre great and powerfully bright one near drops down upon the ground in awe as the whole sky fills and presses our imaginations door of paradise plunged like a weight like that of love come from above to drown our sorrows slake our thirst for wonders, fill our hearts with throbbing drummed applause that there in his great expanse, outdoors, is manifest before our eyes and we adore without the need to say a single word speechless and silent we stand so still we are not human any more. Love Ann of Nordic Norway with the love I mention culled from natures wonders as much as human feelings and understandings.