excruciation

i have
incredible
moments of
clarity
it’s not
unlike
being high

a sound can
trigger lost
remembrances
a scent
drifting ages
half forgotten
wisping by

i sense
indelible
depths of
reality
it’s just
so hard
to describe

patterns shift
bring back past
intolerances
dreamers
sifting pages
so well hidden
live a lie

i weep
intangible
from what you
ask of me
it’s not
unlike
bleeding dry

accusations
breed such doubt
insecurity
lovers
losing face now
in angry moments
boast denial

i am
oppressible
my life a
tragedy
always
alone
deprived

words once said
regreted
open heart
broken
losing clarity
muddied by hurt
pass love by

i bear
excruciable
moments of
frailty
i feel
so torn
reviled

sad ghosted
distant
memory
fearful
hoping hands
clutch at straws
is this a lie?