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Dreams Of The Three

    dreams of the three...


a child will close their eyes to sleep,

dreams sparkle and light up the mind

if i had magic that opened their thoughts,

what wonders in there, would we find

racing across a painted pink pale blue sky,

astride wild unicorns made up of nice

collecting love chains as they pass bye,

ease of movement that has no price

golden sunrays gathered in a daisy pail,

then taken to a safe and warm place

all the while catching white butterfly,

chasing mud covered hands across a face

picking up pavements that start to melt,

sure to carry them around all day

swim jungle rivers, fighting crocodile

making friends with a giant, along the way

scoring great goals on a cup final day,

sister fighting for favourite dolls head

counting the legs on talking centipede,

then store them in your aunt's lovely bed

mud pies and cakes with snail and worms,

travel miles on feathered pathways to a star

riding rainbows on an ostrich, lions at your back,

all this fun and a sunlit morning, not far

 

 

 

— Roscoe Lane, Jan 08, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Scotland, Ayrshire land of Burns.., GBR

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Critiques

Pamela A. Lamppa

Pamela A. Lamppa

16 years 4 months ago

wonderful wonderful sound

How beautiful this sounds when read aloud; one simply travels down the page, image after image, and finds themselves in a fairyland of what once was - and lives vicariously today, through a child's imagination. Such a gift. Rich imagery with wonderful poetic value throughout. Technically, punctuation and grammar come in to play and could use some editing, but keep those thoughts and ideas just as they are. Examples: tense issue here: "a child will close their eyes to sleep," children will close their eyes OR a child will close his (or her) eyes Punctuation: "your aunts lovely bed" - aunts should be aunt's that kind of thing. All in all, this is quite beautiful and by the time I was riding rainbows on an ostrich, I was completely charmed. Beautiful thoughts, ideas, and sound - wonderful wonderful sound. I look forward to reading much more of your work. I enjoyed this one so much. Thank you. ~Pamela
Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

16 years 4 months ago

Punctuation

Punctuation was never my strong point, nor grammar, but i left the first line deliberately. Honest i thought it sounded whimsical, i wrote it by mistake. I did correct this line, then read it, and ended up writing it this way again. Thank you so very very much, hopefully your freind, Roscoe....