Chrysalis

If i hold You
within
This acceptance of certain stars;
Dancing
In time to spring

Will one apple pick
It's meaning,
In seasons beginning,
where the summer
Sells it's flowers,
In bushels for your love
.
Sunsets sad with November ,
This orchard sends
The night butterflies
To your flower of folded music

In my wishing well below, (your eyes)
In earth and water. The fire
Pools of moon
Do dark, and shimmer fly

above the falling atmosphere
With a flake of perfect snow
tenderly imperfect on my skin

Night
A miracle melting.... to return
Leaving alone; not snow or skin

To enter your sheltering chrysalis , i
As winters approaching childhood
Returns to home

— Orphani, Jan 08, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

seabhac

16 years 5 months ago

Hello there

I read this the first time you posted it and I thought about the response i had to it that I wanted to intimate to you but I never got to it . There are so many poems here that sometimes it takes an edit to get back to them. I wanted to consider the words and what they spoke to me and the favourite for me is still Will one apple pick It’s season; ending where summer the self responsibility in this line is just a staggering thought somehow. Nature can choose her moments on the whim of an emotion. I do like this poem it has a freedom about it. The problem is that you have many fine poems and your playful varience makes it hard to choose a favourite Seabhac

Orphani

16 years 5 months ago

Seabhac, what do you think

Seabhac, what do you think of this rewrite in balance with the original. B

seabhac

16 years 5 months ago

It changes it very much

The voice I heard reading the poem aloud the first time ...faltered with the emotion of the words ...I read it that way because of the way you had broken up the words.It certainly reads fluidly now but somehow the mood of it is different. A bit more suave and somehow the depth of feeling is maybe lost with the 'tidying up'. I will look more at the words that have been changed later but just to feedback on my initial response to it. Seabhac

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

Love and nature.

I hope there is a pretty flower on the receiving end of this wonderful poem dear Bazza. I love the title and the forethought of the new life that nature brings that you have written about, and the love that comes from this aphrodisiac, in color and magic beneath those eyes and the moon, you have written a beautiful what I can only conclude, a love poem. Love Lyz. XX

Orphani

16 years 5 months ago

You are the only flower left

You are the only flower left to me.More than a garden of floweres

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

As if,lol.

I am flattered, oh yes I am, but surely you have a pick of the bunch in your home town or is there one standing behind ready to slap you up the side of your head, lol. This is a beautiful poem. I am glad you wrote one finally. I missed your imagination and way with words. I also finally posted. A little bit of my daily life. I was told I could write a book about my life, I would give it a go but no one would believe it, lol. Any way, thank you my dear, and when are you going to give a bit of yourself away?. I will catch up soon. Love Lyz. XX

Nordic cloud

16 years 5 months ago

Dancing in time to Spring

First impression-Oh I dance, I dance, I dance your dance and dancing through the words am transported into the reality of nature's charms, human nature's charms too, oh you throw us into leaves, bushels, orchards, sunsets, night butterflies, music folded in petals, the firm shine and colour of the apple, wishing wells, moonlit pools, snowflakes-so delicate, oooo and the entering of the chrysalis is so, so so so specially poignant wow. I am blown, no banged, no enticed, no, just taken with this poem of your O. Loved it Barry from Ann. It may not be, but is awesome to me.