The visit

Hope is just another round stone

on the beach, between my bare

feet, the word is in the kite reeled

in, released, my brother and niece

downwind, the yellow sheet away

trembling on a white pin on blue

And Hopper's great greens, light

tans that made a day just fine,

to die on Long Island beach

— doorman, Jan 04, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: NOR

Critiques

kowque

16 years 5 months ago

kowque

Glad you liked it. Regards, Espen

doorman

16 years 5 months ago

An electronic hick-up of

An electronic hick-up of some kind. Thanks for reading my poem, though. E.

weirdelf

16 years 5 months ago

the seemingly strange line breaks perfectly poise your images. Don't call it an electronic hick-up, even if you didn't consciously control it. Do you have japanese influences? Just curious. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

doorman

16 years 5 months ago

Jess

Thank you for the feedback here. I feel I hit the nail, but the few times I do it doesn't feel deserved, as opposed to the writes I struggle with. My inferiority complexes aside, the Haiku format was an important 'rule of thumb' for me in the beginning. Stuck to it like a bat. You find this Japanese? Perhaps it is,- hard to see when one's up close. Anyway, glad to make your acquaintance and thanks again for reading. Regards, Espen.