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Seren
Seren
Jan 03, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sniffing out Traitors

as my fingers fumble
each letter and word

gasping for breath
I pause,

caught in the grip
of her eyes I was struck
with iron
as the scent of her
recent encounter,
wafted out the door

my mouth ran dry
and tasted metallic
my lips trembled
but I felt no fear

just a knowing
that she had betrayed me
every Milli second
I ever knew her

I could smell him

— Seren, Jan 03, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

M

magics02

16 years 5 months ago

I relate

I can really relate to this one Serene, the smell of his scent on her and the sniffling of the traitor that you knew, who was there. blessings magics02
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Mona

Thanks for the read and I thought there would be a few who would relate to this one ... truth be told its truth, no fiction this one ... love and mountains of hugs Jayne x x x
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 5 months ago

A woman always knows in her

A woman always knows in her senses, even if her mind won't. Love, Mum Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

I knew just needed the

I knew just needed the evidence ... and that was provided by my wonderful smellerer ;)lol I have a very powerful sense of smell ... love and biggest hugs Jayne x x x
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Something I ahve never been

Something I ahve never been blinded by is love ... but I knew just needed proof ... thanks for the read huni and the advice shoulda listen to my GF she knew all along pmsl just I didnt realise it was her love and hugs Jayne x x
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 5 months ago

Powerfully potent this

Powerfully potent this feeling of betrayal, it can hurt so much almost physically maiming as you say. You are not going to run dry, your words decorate each day with their garlands and we dance beneath them with joy, as you have such a lovely personality that comes to the fore in all you write dear Jayne, even in sad tales, we are lucky to know you and be blessed with your poetry it is like receiving a bouquet of flowers each day, we can sense their perfumes and colours whatever day it is. Dear you, bless you Jayne. From Anna Dalla Norvegia.
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

I think the closer the

I think the closer the person the deeper the sense of betrayal, the closer you let people the more chance you give them to hurt you ... thanks for your kind words I am so happy I can bring you joy with my scribbles it means more than you know love and mountains of hugs Ann of the north your a darlin woman Jayne-Chloe
L

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Jayne

Great write, And what a bitch. She was never a friend. Lyz. XX
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

She never was … but its ok

She never was ... but its ok karma has already biten her ... she got hers in spades ... love and hugs Jayne x x
SR

Stuart Reiss

16 years 5 months ago

Hey Jayne…remember

Hey Jayne...remember Karma The time for the down trodden to rise and be free of the guilt that has been laid upon us. You know people like us on Neo would have been burned at the stake for our free thinking and non conforming ideas in centuries past....not to mention the left handed folk lol Now pendulum swings but the other way. Poor mans courage to now display Best regards Stu
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Oh dear … we have a

Oh dear ... we have a problem I am on of those left handed people lmao hahaha but I also have two different coloured eyes guess god was determined to make me ... different ... nothing wrong with blazing our own path eh ? and now that they cant burn us at the stake ... its awesome cause me with my two coloured eyes would have defo been labled a freak ... or a witch lol love and hugs Jayne x x x
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Julie

thanks for the read sorry to reply so late I dont remember getting an email for this one ... but that doesnt mean I didnt I have been a little tired lately ... glad you enjoyed this one lol yeah I do flare up when i get mad I am so quiet the rest of the time it scares the shit outta them lol ;) love and hugs Jayne x