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Poetree
Jan 03, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Beauty Will Grow

A sorrowful child seeks love
But commits himself to memories
And from clouds of grief
Tears fall,
In a cruel winter,
Within.

Once born beautifully free
And loved,
Once strong
Now weakened,
Caged,
By separation.

Attempting to succeed
Without love,
Beauty will grow
Even in eternal oppression.

Just give a rose
Water
And sunlight,

And It will survive.
— Poetree, Jan 03, 2010

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Country/Region: GBR

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Arrow

16 years 4 months ago

I like this, its

restraint which makes it more poignant. But, you have many more commas than you need. Finally, I would have liked the end better if you hadn't of referenced yourself. Maybe something like: Just give A rose() Water() And sunlight, And IT will survive.
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Poetree

16 years 4 months ago

Hey

Hey, Thank you for your comment and taking the time to read my work! I really appreciate your feedback and I agree with you, so I have changed it as suggested. Once again, Thank you, Take care, Joel :-)