ENAMOURED

Hey, Hey did you get lucky? Yes it captured me with the title and pulled me in with the first few lines just loved the line slender tone no ring on your wedding bone. The double use of the word lips somehow sticks with me ....the second use in deep embrace lips adore your waiting face . Yes it needs it but can you find another word for lips that says the same? The last two lines are a real climax...brilliant. Best Wishes Seabhac

Can I see you standing there, Was there romance in the air, Cmon, sunshine, You know you gotta share. Lol. Just kidding. Ah, love, the greatest subject to write about. Well done. Lyz. XX

Oh I really like "little death afterglow"...a lovely compact phrase Peace Amethyst

I was enamored with all the lines of this poem, but the last lines floored me and now I must pick myself up off the floor and dust myself off and tell you that I think you and your poem are simply brilliant! Always, Cat

Man I cannot believe how far youv'e come in so short a time. That's because your'e really applying yourself Zig.Are you going back to look at your earlier works for rewriting? I do and I can't believe how far iv'e come either. Theres one thing I have to show you that shouldn't be done by another poet, but I want to illustrate a point. Strike a pose ruby red lips Sips slow from a goblet of passion. I coldn't help seeing this as it jumped out at me: line 2] slow sips form ....Notice how the difficult fra sound when replaced with the for sound amplifies it and gives it more cohesiveness, as well as amplifieing the meaming and tying the stanza togeather.I'm always searching all the words to see if there are any opportunities like that. Normally a poet shouldn't ever tamper with another poets poems (It's in bad form) but it was such a good point to illustrate. Great effort and remember to look for opportunities in your poetry. B Always eyeball and read your poem out loud repititiously to get the feel of the flow and rythem. That seems to be helping me

Ziggy A goblet of passion I wish to share. Short slender wedding bone unadorned Desires, my heart laden, smiles ignite on waiting face Lecherous eyd before me stands. Will words turn to gestures convulsions die a death, in the afterglow. Brilliant Each word struck my awaiting heart that is over flowing with such longing of each word you have written above. Electric Blue