Tenderness of a Tear

A sweet poem Julie. Keep writing, with love from Ann. "I have wore my self out" ......just wonder if WORN would be better to understand?

Aw if I can be a teacher that is lovely Julie, teachers are those who teach, yes, but in their teaching they too learn and doing so we correspond our thoughts and understandings and make this world a better more happy place to be, mutual understanding, yes? Thank you dear Julie Love Ann of Norway.

I loved the title as it can take a writer to all kinds of different places. I think you have some nice ideas in this poem and think it has a lot of potential with a bit of editing. Since you put it out here for critique - here are some suggestions that might help to improve on your poem if you choose to edit. "n’ draw me closer to you" Maybe "and draw me close to you" would flow a bit easier. I find that slang or contractions in verse, unless done deliberately to emphasize a linguistic quality, does not work well and serves to de-emphasize where you would like to emphasize. Proper grammar and spelling for L1 S2 is "I have worn myself out" and I tend to agree that "jello legs" just doesn't work poetically. However, I understand where you were going with that phrase. I do however think you could keep that concept with a different word choice such as weak-kneed or even the simplicity of "limp". Dictionary.com has a nice thesaurus incorporated which I find very useful. I am also not sure about the repetition of "left" in stanza two. I tripped reading those two lines a couple of times so I think some editing may be in order. Correct the spelling, of "precious" and I am uncertain why you chose to capitalize gems? Your ideas are good and can become beautiful poetry with some editing and use of more complex rhyme and interesting words. You have good balance in your work and mature ideas. Expand them a bit more and I think you will find the blossom in this piece that you are looking for. You have the ability - I hope you will find some of these ideas useful. Thank you for sharing. ~Pamela

DD gal this one is very good. I felt it and I liked it now do you mind if I just tell you about one mispelled word, or better yet I will let you find it. You know me with the proofing glasses LOL ly gal xoxoxox magics02

I forgot my legs feel like jelly alot!!! After two back surgeries this happens alot to me and that it is time to for me to sit down...nerve pain bad sometimes..numbness..bla bla bla...... lol magics02