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broken_skye
Dec 28, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Nothing

Who would have known?
Who would have guessed it?
Who would have felt it from every direction?

Not him, nor you.
But me.
I would have known.
I would have guessed it.
I would have felt it from every direcetion.

Only if you would have given me hope.
Only if you would have given me faith.
And only if you would have given me a chance.

But you gave me no hope,
no faith,
no chance.

You gave me nothing,
and I gave you nothing in return.

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Comments

ANC1996

ANC1996

16 years 4 months ago

Hi :]

I really like this poem, and i can't wait to read more of your work. One lil suggestion is in the first line it says 'know' should it be known? Great poem though :] Peace Love and Tacos, Adri :]
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broken_skye

16 years 4 months ago

thanks

i know i messed up i will fix that asap Hearts, Skye Alen
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Skye

Really liked your first post ... but the repetition of nothing in the last two lines didnt have the strength of the rest of your poem ...unless its got the power to imprint I think that repeating one line after the other seems to lose its power ... great first post and I look forward to reading more from you kind regards love Jayne-Chloe peace love and pizza slices lol haha love ya adri
B

broken_skye

16 years 4 months ago

thanks

thanks 4 being so honest I appericat it. Love Rock n' roll Kitties, Skye Alen
S

Silent_Rain

16 years 4 months ago

Very nice!

Great poem Skye, you may want to think about changing the "of"s in the 3rd stanza to "have" make it sound better, but if not, oh well... Love of love for your big sis!! ~Rain~
O

Orphani

16 years 4 months ago

This is a very good first

This is a very good first poem .Thank you for shareing it. You have a natural poetic style that I hope you will take the time to develop. Have fun and be yourself. That.s the best you can be. Barry ,,,o,,
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broken_skye

16 years 4 months ago

thanks

Thanks for the comment and i have all the time in the world to develop so i will.
Seren

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Well this is a night for

Well this is a night for firsts two first time posters in spotlight one after the other congratulations Skye I look forward to watching you grow as a poet young lady :-) love and hugs Jayne x x
C

chrisbyrne

16 years 4 months ago

Nice first post

All the technical stuff has been handled, I would say expand your vocab as much as you can and watch your spellings, I am the worst at that too. Great work tho chris
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BrightEyed

16 years 4 months ago

beautiful

this poem is amazing. i love it. felt the emotion
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

like your use of repetition

but perhaps a bit too much of it. Really need to check that spelling and grammar, takes away from you being taken seriously Who would of know? Who would have known? etc Still, I like the poem a lot, congrats on spotlight Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible