what never was

Oxymorons abound the empty rooms Ghostly shadows form brilliant hues Of yellowed paper and berry wine Gramophone crackles out of tune Dry mouthed, tongue still glued Shouted whispers oft opined.

This was fun to comment on, the sheer scope of your work had me smiling for the entire reading and "flexing" of my reply. I can't seem to not try and rhyme so I really enjoyed these first three lines then I was lost to my inner demons. 8) Thanks for the chance to play with your words,if you don't approve please feel free to remove it I was simply having fun. D

gosh, I missed out on some of your posts, you have really posted a lot! Glad to see you settling in, hope you are comfortable. I absolutely love the concept of this piece, my room/your room, suggesting a distance between the lovers. Leaving a couple of suggestions: My room Separately we danced together far apart, feet touching in different rooms, rusted grammophone, made from a past out of tune melody gone dry in the too sharp blunted needle cheap berry wine stained empty champagne glass left to dust on yellowed paper cloth covered tables. Your room Fat base booming, dressing up your lyric from deaf wireless speakers to an immune audience your auditorium brightly cracked black shouting whispers lashed from stiff tongue glued still to your mouth's roof from our never had fox trot. Love all the contradictions you are using here. Love/hate and at the same time motion as if from real dancers, swaying to and fro, coming near each other, then spinning away again... Yours, ~Nina

Really enjoyed the entire piece but this part really grabbed me: rusted gramophone, made from a past out of tune melody gone dry in the to sharp blunted needle As Nina mentioned, the concept is creative and impactful. Great stuff! -Nathaniel