chrisbyrne

Dec 26, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Losing

Just a moment, mid-June. When you might have.
Just a word, too soon. When you said.
Just a touch, or a look. I may have;
Believed you
Revered you
Trusted you..

Less a feeling, refracted by other thought.
Less a meaning. No one tells the truth.
Less emotion or depth when I
Believed in you
totally
trusted you.
Eternally.

No help now. Mid-winter, no one here.
No help now. confusion and wonder.
No sense now, searching for....
Meaning in what you said,
you did, you acted,
You went

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Comments

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

A really impressive first post!

Welcome to Neopoet, some minor crit or correction, take it or leave it as you will. Reviered Revered when I; when I lose the exclamation mark at the end, the words say enough Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

chrisbyrne

16 years 4 months ago

thanks!

Thank you so much for the good input. My puntuation is rather lame, I'll work on that. Im very pleased to have found this site.

Barbara Writes

16 years 4 months ago

Chris

chrisbyrne

16 years 4 months ago

thank you

Thank you for looking at my work, I also look at yours. Chris

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Veni. Vidi.

Veni. Vidi. Vici. ~Anna Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

Morgana Tragic…

16 years 4 months ago

Well I think Jess gave you

Well I think Jess gave you the corrections that were needed. Take his advice, he's an excellent poet. Welcome to Neopoet, this is an awesome first post! This reminds of how our Canadian winters feel- cold, lonely, and when the people around you become strangers and you either sit and watch the snow fall or leave. Peace~~~~~

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

dear Chris welcome to

dear Chris welcome to Neopoet I look forward to your next !! and it would be in your best interests to listen to the elf hes a genius :) kind regards Jayne x x x

chrisbyrne

16 years 4 months ago

thanks

thank you! I will be checking out your work too. I certainly will listen to the elf! I'm really blown away by the friendly nature of this site. chris. ps. I just posted another poem on the forum. little yellow pill, its called.

Electric Blue

16 years 4 months ago

Losing

Chris Well my friend welcome and thank you for looing in on my poem Falling. Well meet the biggest loser in the world my friend - get in the queue. I just put my heart on tear soaked pages my words tumble onto the paper that waits This is a great site has been my companion for some time now through ups and downs. This is my only contact with others here. There are many great poets here on site and I am in awe of them wishing I could write something worthy. I felt every frayed nerve end in this write my friend Welcome Electric blue I too am from S.E.UK

chrisbyrne

16 years 4 months ago

I have a feeling that out of

I have a feeling that out of pain must come beauty. Whatelse would it all be for? I dont think any of us ever feel that our words are worthy, in some way at least. Its good to make your aquaintence.