JUDGE A FLAME BY ITS MOTH

and here was I thinking "what a great title" ;) I absolutely love how the stanzas all have their own personality here. Mhm... awesome read, thanks. Yours, ~Nina

Wow you knock me out again. Too tired to comment further but this reallly looks good at first glance. B

Well deserved, Boni! Yours, ~Nina

I got a feeling that tonights gonna be a good night ;)and bang you hit one clear outta the park ;) ... Brillance that crosses oceans ... Love and hugs Jayne x x x P.S gotta love the black eyed peas I do my housework to them lmao

LOL ok had a blonde moment forgive me ... congratulations on spotlight ... beautifully writen dear lady and I have line envy this time lol hahaha but its all good you inspired me this time ;) love and hugs Jayne x x

Im with nina, There was me liking the title. Then i read the rest of the poem. wow vicki

An excellent poem. Each stanza pushing forward in its own glory. Excellent read. Kaboom. Love Lyz. XX

Crescendo after crescendo.....in this poem of perpetual inspiration. I was thinking that your stand alone lines.. make for a poem. vermilion desire of insight in vain And yes, another's insight is never our own unless we transcend self and other. Love, Anna Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

Just wonderful , beautiful emotion so inspiring. Much Love Seabhac

You are penning into your own realm... there was one line that disrupted my read for a moment, the truth seen through an clear pane of insight... it looked as if there was a double space between "clear and pane"... if that is so, then it is meant like this, the truth seen through-an-clear, pane of insight... or is it, the truth seen through, and clear pane of insight. I think you meant it in the first way and maybe my old country self got stuck on "an clear", and it disrupted my brain function. or was it... the truth seen through a clear pane of insight. just the one line Boni, but very good, and I too loved the title, darn that Rumi!!!

You need to describe with images, not adjectives. To describe a pane of glass as cold and unyeilding is obvious, You need more invention, more originality to make the reader feel not just know. Does an insect really press sensuously? No, it's in a panic, make us feel that panic with an image, the insect is a fuse fired mad, or whatever. It's not a bad poem, but you if you want serious criticism then the truth is you rely too much on alliteration and you havn't given enough thought to what you're saying, 'saved by a dead sea', what does this mean? Are you talking about 'the Dead Sea', all other seas are alive last time I looked, how can you be saved by a dead sea, you can be saved by the distance between you and your beloved but not by the sea itself. Its sloppy writing, you can do better.

Amazing how many interpretations can be made from your words, I actually felt them. An excellent write! Taylor

superb poetry, these are the heights of imagery, idea and wordcraftsmanship we all aspire to. So glad I finally stumbled across it. Only one thing bothers me a little and that is the line The truth shines through a clear pane of insight. This stands out against the rest of the poem as expository, especially the word insight. Like using the word reality in a poem. I would suggest that losing "of insight" would enhance rather than detract from the poem. Hence- The truth shines through a clear pane Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

congrates on evolution Boni ... still love this poem came back for a second read love and hugs Jayne x x

all I can add to this is... Where and how do you come up with such brilliant titles?! Wonderful. Always, Cat

Author, I'm going to take you at your word, and I will be posting my own stuff, so you can blast me back any time. There's been too much gushing here, and not enough gumption. What's good: I think you felt passionately about your subject. I think it's good you find inspiration in another poet's words. You enjoyed writing this, and that shows through. You have flair. What's less than good: Read or re-read Williams' red wheelbarrow poem (it googles). Even if you don't care for such brevity, there's still value in the lesson "no ideas, but in things." Show, don't tell, and your best images in this draft will pop out and you'll discover some new ones. New to the site with high expectations. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to more.

I look forward to you ripping my work to shreds, then. I think the way the system of sharing is set up here, the parameters (generously) allow a person to submit with a wince or unblinkingly. I am the unblinking sort, that's why I showed up and put my own baby out there, but then I wrote professionally in newspapers where I quickly developed a thick skin. So I have the advantage, in addition to being a brash American, and a Westerner at that. If it were up to me, I might even add another box (please try to hurt my feelings to help my poem) because I do take my writing seriously, and a serious effort at critique is appropriate. If I were going to put my catharsis on display, or journal out here, I might hold back a little on the request for input, because then I would be invested in having my work compromised in deference to my feelings. That is also a perfectly legitimate use of this space. I will look eagerly for your revision if you feel inspired to rewrite. I'm quite certain your mentor in the title did a lot of that. I will investigate the author you like, because I am more familiar with Williams.

...woah

doing that! aiiiii.