The natural direction of vanishment

The natural direction of vanishment

Not an auspicious beginning this
looking out the frosted windows
where unattended snow carpets the grass
and little stick-men in helmets
manipulate machines on the runway,
the runaway.

Is it my plane out there taxiing,
being tended?
Has the snow slowed its falling
in the white neon of spotlights
upon the gantry?

The grey sky reaches all the way
to the rooftops
the mountains have vanished
and all planes fly south.

— Heading South, Dec 27, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: JPN

Critiques

September Daydreams

16 years 5 months ago

Nice poem

I liked reading your poem.As I read,through the lines the imagery felt distracted,surrealistic yet tangible,as if describing something I've experienced too.The last lines made me think of a homesick man,wanting to get back at his homeland/country located somewhere in south.The repetition in the 1 stanza,works well.Freestyle fits to content and structure.

Heading South

16 years 5 months ago

Dear September Daydreams

Thanks for taking the time to comment. The poem describes a situation I actually found myself in where I was in an airport that had been shutdown by heavy snow. I had a ticket to fly South to warmer climes but it felt like the snow might go on forever and my flight might never leave. Of course it did in the end, but I thought the experience might be a good idea for a poem, especially that sense of feeling trapped and wanting to get away to somewhere warmer both physically and metaphysically. Yours, Daniel

anonymous1

16 years 5 months ago

I got that...

Daniel, I got the sense of what you went through. Very good. The end sounds so hopeful, like you are having to tell yourself that it's going to turn out all right. I think your title is interesting, as if vanishing could have a direction. I even pictured you in the airport, writing this. Thank you, Lisa

Atticus

16 years 5 months ago

Truly strong write,

Daniel, I've had the pleasure of reading through a few of your pieces and this descriptive, visual, matter of fact write is my favorite so far. The title is marvelous and immediately pulled me in. Love the emphasis on runaway relative to runway. Nice work! Nathaniel

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Daniel,

I loved this piece. It reminded me of a poem by Mark Haddon, Cabin Doors to Automatic: This is how we leave the world, with the heart weeping, and the hope that distance brings that solving wonder of one last clear view ... Yours, ~Nina