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Penetration

  I have allowed youDeep inside meUnder my skinPenetrating to my DantienSparking neurons thatChinese whisper to my brainThey tell of your wonder. My heart rejoices My brain relates itTo cultured consciousness My SoulAh, my soul has foundA mirror of desireA source of food to feed itFire and light and growthIt has come face to face with itself The battle of moralityHas begun withinStimulated byThe original sin
— seabhac, Dec 27, 2009

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About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Liz,

love this poem, it's as overwhelming as the feeling you are describing. Only these lines I am having trouble with: Penetrating to my Dantien (Dantean?) Sparking neurons that Chinese whisper to my brain (whisper Chinese? or Chinese whispers?) Yours, ~Nina
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks for droppin in Nina

Boy that was quick. Just posted this. Dantien is also known as the Hara point 2 fingers below the belly button. The powerhouse of the body. It is a Tai Chi term which is also where the Chinese whisper comes in ...yes perhaps it should be plural...it is meant to be Chinese whispers as in the game where a spoken phrase is said to one person and passed around, by the time the end person relates the whisper it is often very different from its origin but the body of meaning is most often the same. From reading your spotlit poem I too have questioned the act of sex and love and penetration is an act that we really should consider in deeper meaning of the whole act. Thanks Nina Seabhac
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks for the enlightenment, Liz,

my vocabulary when it comes to Tai Chi and the like is shaky at best. (With the possible exception of some Yoga terms, but that is Sanskrit, not Chinese.) Now, where do I leave my stars? Yours, ~Nina
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 5 months ago

Hi Chris

Nice to make our aquaintaince, welcome. Thanks for your comments, an awesome union indeed,hope for the future. I'm glad you got the dan tien reference. Best Wishes Seabhac
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 5 months ago

WoW Liz!

What an intro - what a drawing in - both with the opening lines and of course - the title! Vulnerabilty at it's most intimate. Completely awesome write!!! Bonita j
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks Bonita

Delighted to share this one ...I am a little blunt sometimes but I cannot lie and say how it is .Sharing my vunerable side here on neo gives me an intimacy with each reader that is so empowering. Have a wondeerful new year and keep writing your wonderful work. Seabhac
L

lyz

16 years 5 months ago

The title got me,lol.

Cheeky but what a wonderful poem. You do have a way with words. And well thought out. Love Lyz. XX
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 5 months ago

A title is the bait isn't it

I have a sense of fun , a playfulness that doesn't always come out in lifes everyday routine , isn't it delightful to play in poetry? Thank you Seabhac Hope you have a great new year with lots of promise for you
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Its all been said before me

Its all been said before me with Panache ... so this is what you do when I am sleeping? ... brilliant write ... hugz Jayne-Chloe x x
seabhac

seabhac

16 years 5 months ago

ha ha , you always make me laugh

I check your eyes are shut firmly first. Then I sneak away and scratch with my pencil...did we find that word yet for universal thought yet? I will look for it... Hope you are enjoying the holidays...finding it hard here to think with all the play and visitors but the snow is still very beautiful. Very Best Wishes x x and hugs Seabhac
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

remember that old song ? the

remember that old song ? the holiday is over lol wel its over hahah (hugz) glad to know I am at least good for a laugh ... just came to congratulate you on spotlight dear lady and a much deserved one ... enjoy your holidays and soak it all up hugz Jayne x x
O

Orphani

16 years 5 months ago

Undoubtedly one of your best

Undoubtedly one of your best works in every category. Your keen choice of words. " Dentian " as an example. underscores your skill with vocabulary. Your keen use of metaphor. your ability to structure ,cadence, and choose the form so precisely is a wonderful achievment. In short a kick ass poem. Chinese whisper intrigues me. Can you elaborate on this.Barry ,,,o,,
Tim

Tim

16 years 2 months ago

wow, very sensual and

wow, very sensual and beautiful too and so good! I can feel my glasses steaming up! Just seen it on the front page. take care, Tim
P

panaella

16 years 2 months ago

loved this!

wonderful! I knew about the dan tien...and have experienced a tsunami of sexual pleasure (more info than u need perhaps!)...from the core. Only with true intimacy...brilliant write...i'm nominating this. Ellie x