METAMORPHOSIS

Just when I finally came round to read it! Leaving a comment to get notified when it's back up... Yours, ~Nina

For sure. Love Lyz. XX

Where's the effing poem? Yours, ~Nina

Let's see, what you've cooked up this time, Boni... Like how you allude to the road to hell in your opening lines. corpses of change to me or the time, or the situation: (maybe move down the "or"?) Hmh... first stanza's still a little rough, but second stanza reads wonderful! Yours, ~Nina P.S. Damascus ?

You really, really, got a winner here "sweet and smooth" I wouldn't change much line 5 is a little cheeky, cute but thats you right? line 6 for consideration / scaling the craggy rock of line 7 should there be a comma after of, / ask NiNa Loved the way you repeated the word headache (which incidentally I have). it gives the cadence that boon boom that coresponds in the rythmic beat. I love the flow I love the rythem I love the metaphor. You always know its good when -- when I was a kid the first girl I tried to give a poem to threw it in my face and said YOU DIDN'T WRITE THIS wELL THEN i KNEW IT WAS GOOD.B

Note: I just want to say firstly becouse you are so inclined to cooperativly make changes that this concerns me a bit .Before continuing it must be said that you must not compromise your poetic voice That's primary and comes first becouse that's you and no one does that better. Having said that - each word is an itergal part of a poem ie a puzzle. The better the pieces fit the stronger the bond. untill you have precisly the right words that convey the exact meaning in the exact way you intend them to mean the poem will never be as potent as is possible. This is only the barest bones of it.It took Robert Frost over twenty years to complete " stopping by woods ".Every word is crucial to the poem In rythem and meaning If you love poetry as much as Robert you may not see the finishing of "Metamorphosis" till that time.You make up the rules in poetry but you are always ready to build on them as you gain insight becouse in fact you are the poem in a sense. It comes out an embryo. One then you must clothe.Do not confuse the two there by cutting off an arm becouse the sleeve is too short.To see the end of the poem. The metamorphosis must come from you, as you grow and learn. B ,,,,, ps Put some air in your balancing ball.

I like the theme in here.Poems about metamorphosis are always interesting to read.The second part is my favorite and it doesn't need any changes.The first part has some good lines "Lamenting all the ” why me’s?” scaling the craggy rocks - of “not this time" I think these lines weaken your poetry,meaning they diminish the emotion of your words.

Very good stuff, Boni! Yours, Espen.

Thrown from rock to cradle and back again, and yet not, with the blinding light of indecision so bright in your eyes that the black despair darkens the sky of Summer and brings Winter in the desert, commanded to change, you change not. Intriguing springs to mind with this poem and I like its patterns, it leaves an impression on its road of travel. Ann of Norway