Smelling Salt

some kick-ass lines you have here. Loved the beginning, only one thing that might be tweaked there, have you considered replacing "something real" by a more concrete word, e.g. sustenance? And the end seemed a little too abrupt for me... Chuckling about the image of grabbing one's own ass :) Yours, ~Nina

((((((Moonman))))) Kick arse poeming. I, however, love the abrupt ending. Most endings are abrupt, no matter how long it lasts. ~A

No fancy words or over embellished sentiments, gets the point across simply said. Visual, emotional, raw. Wonderful. raskin

Looks like you stepped in with both feet Rich.Ain't life grand somtimes when your in up to your nose. Great write A visual feast of a metaphor. The smell aaaa maybe not. Knocked my winter socks off, and that's not easy considering Iv'e had them on three days. Barry ,,,o,,

a bitch but I also enjoyed this and I have missed your entertaining words. Whether they are meant to be or not. Lol. You are the moon dear man, well done. Love Lyz. XX

there is some grab assing that gets down through life ... clenching oneself against the world ... brilliant write Richard thoroughly enjoyed the read and i smiled the whole time I read it not laughed smiled .. for life is a blood sucking bitch ... where have i heard that before ? lol love and hugs JC x x

I can smell it from here. I have heard that when you step in it, it means you are going to have good luck! Probably because you pause to scrape it off, and take a look around before you step again. Where-upon you may see a new opportunity. I will take this opportunity to tell you this was a great read. Grab your ass, and hunker down. You can't run too fast anymore, remember? ~ Happy Holidays Richard. ~ Gee

I've been away for some time and your work was some of the first I thought to catch up with on my return. Never disappointed. Fantasically no nonsense, teeth clenched write. Best, Nathaniel

"while grabbing my own ass to keep from running" I love this picture, you running and running grabbing your posterior, backside, end, butt, bottom, or whatever you want to call it as well as arse. This is worth a short silent film, on the other hand the sound effects could be fantastic couldn't they? We knew a climber, Lars, he always farted, not because it gave him a boost up the rock face, I suppose, but with the effort of stretching for the next hold. And the man who played anything you wished with his wind, Beethoven or whatever, well........ it takes all sorts doesn't it!!!! Love to you themoonman, Richard from Ann of Norway

of life as beautiful- in my more idealistic moments; but life simply is and then we attribute so much more. your words remind me of the opening statement to "A Road Less Traveled" Scott peck "Life is difficult. that is a great truth; one of the greatest truths." a pleasure, sir. ken

wave of frustration here. Amusing as well: "ratcheting the weaving menu while grabbing my own ass/to keep from running.." HAHA! Brilliant lines there! Great job! GB

Have to give you stars for those earthy poems of yours. It all rings too true, as usual. Have to grab mine everyday, 'while the waft of life startles' Always, Deelilah

this seems like the beginning of something. great great potential. i would suggest attaching it to the beginning of a very personal poem. it seems to stop where there should be so much more.