Splinters left in mind

You take us on such imaginative journeys - it's hard to come back down to earth! Particularly liked your closing stanza: "if any vision or dream burns too bright shadows pale the heart" WON'T WAIT AROUND FOR THE ROT thanks! lol Lovely imagerty - surpurb write! Boni

You put your heart into this poem, it seems to me. I will be thinking about it for a while. I made a copy of it so I can read it over again and again. Your ink knows what you want written and it has scard the paper with your thoughts in words. Keep up the GREAT work!!! Friends, Pixee

This is a stunning work of art. You are at the top of your game with your unique vision blindingly evident in imaginitive use of metaphor, passion, and fire. The lines; Crusts were broken In communion With cicadas The sacreement Burned my lips to the mantle These are superb lines especilly ,and the duality that permeates the poem through the earty metaphors really dramatises the effect with strong emotion. You make it look to easy. A point or two can be touched upon as detractions in my opinion but debateable as I am wavering of two opinions. forest for the trees I feel would be amplified a touch by the use of through the trees as I don't like the double intonation of forest for in the line but rather the other way all in all a minor point of sound and definition. Well done outlander spirit.Barry ...o..

Dear Magic Jayne:- Oh into the raw of the volcanic birth and devastating death-like poison that, falling, the ink from your pen does magnificent dances of beauty and ugliness as it descends to the page, where it indelibly strikes notes of harmony and disharmony into our listening brains, stained by the power of your visions. It is as if you are Gaia herself, the whole world embraced in the sensations and great explosions of thought ending in the near detail of flies at the offal of lifes absurdity. I love the number seven, I was born in the sevens, and it gives even more meaning to this poem for me, as all poetry has its different meanings for each individual that reads it. We bring to it our experience of life, of art, of whatever has moved us, and with it we dance the dance, or not, for if it doesn't say any thing to us we move on quietly to the next one. In this poem you have touched on many experiences of pain and joy, pleasure and displeasure; the joy of extremes of feeling make moving metaphors for our senses. You conduct an orchestra with an extraordinary variety of instruments, and it works, becoming a many sided crystal of strangely intense beauty. Jayne you are a crystal, a gem flying there in the skies of our minds, thank you with love from Ann

Orphani hit the nail when he said you make it look easy. That is the sign of truly great writing. Only one thing bothers me here in the confusion of seven why seven, am I being stupid? If poetry can change the world, and it does, this will be part of it. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

Love that touches one person does change the world. B

You are getting me worried. A grand write and you are at a loss for a title? wow. Okay honey bear, firstly, this is amazing. Thats all I will say, no head swell for you today,lol, now how about, Splintered Spirit. The rebirth of seven, boy, now I understand, lol. Leaving it up to you Jayne. Love ya. XX

Splinters left in mind is a eye catching title. The thought of a splinter in my mind made me coil lol. Had to read. it was good I thought it was great ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

These splinters have caused lancinations to my very being... from chainsaw tree fellers and molten magma spewing eyes that cry for the world and burn a scar in the landscape from the sorrow and fury... your overview of the world and the metaphoric interaction is superb. The title is very eyecatching and draws you in and then won't release its written grip until you've left fingerpints in the wodden and metal furniture from holding it so very hard... had to prise mine from my computer table with a crowbar (Brothers have uses now and again!) to write this review. Very enthralling indeed with words and language seperating continents and countries... yet one vision, one dream that links all can be overshadowed by those with evil things in their hearts. So whole world sinks in to the rotting refuse and vegitation... to ferment in to the power weilders. Yet people like you do keep the worldly dream alive I believe Jayne... by getting others to notice and stand up for what is right. I find this invigorating even if this my own interpritation of what you have written... but the best of poets inspire others and thoughts deep inside us all... so great you must be! Dale :)

At it again are you....? i.e. messing with perfection! I thought this was splendid the first time around so I'm not sure what you have changed,,, Once again you get my vote - but with one niggling question. Why the use of two tenses. Everything in past tense till this comes up (sorry - didn't mean it as a word play! ;) "I vomit ash and sing with a spray"