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S
SAKTHEEE2007
Dec 23, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Just a kiss from her

 

 Just a kiss from her

 

I am in the clouds and going to heaven

My wings are mighty enough to fly

The sun is in my hands and

the moon is running to hide in the clouds

Stars are glittering to show me the way to heaven

 

I am walking in the desert of Sahara

in the days of hot summer with my bare foot

In that desert

Millions of oasis are welcoming me

with a plenty of fruits and water

 

Gods are moving here and there

To bless me at my convenience

They are asking my time to meet me to talk

They are wandering with a wine of mirth

to give me and to cheer up me there

 

Plants are calling me to submit their roses

to praise me and to honor me as her lover

How these miracles have happened in my life

Just  a kiss

Yes Just a kiss of Her has created  this new world


— SAKTHEEE2007, Dec 23, 2009

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Geezer

Geezer

16 years 5 months ago

Just A Kiss...

Sounds of love! Your title is good, pacing and logic held all the way through. I have just a couple of little tweaks for you though. Unless you are really an animal, your foot is bare, not [bear] Put the word [have] in front of the word [these] and [has] instead of have in the last sentence. You and all the others here have made my year [actually nine mos.] so rewarding! I am glad to be called your friend, Steven. Keep up the great work! And Merry Christmas! ~ Gee
Geezer

Geezer

16 years 5 months ago

Just A Kiss...

Thank you for being my friend, I am happy to help anytime. This is one of your best Steven! I love the fact that you are writing so well. You have come a long distance from when you first came here. Merry Christmas to you too. ~ Geezer