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SHE'S COME UNDONE

"There was always Hopein the blighted economy of her survivalsoaking the spills of disillusionmentmopping up a myriad of unfulfilled desires. Cold comfortthose thwarted promises,compacted dregs of dormant dreams -the stale wine of spurious schemes. Trust - shot throughwith specks of feigned sincerity,now replete with holes:reality's gift to incredulity. The quintessential selfalways garnered for revivalnow stripped of all subterfugefragmented, frayed - suicidal. Bjr 23 December '09
— Bonitaj, Dec 23, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

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Critiques

ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Boni,

I, too, love this expression, "she's come undone". I loved how the dissociation of the self showed in the elliptic sentences, the peak for me being stanza 3: Trust - shot through with specs of feigned sincerity, now replete with holes: reality’s gift to incredulity. Also comes with enjoyable rhythm, this one. Yours, ~Nina
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks Nina, Kal & Seren

Sorry to compress that into one - but what with the Christmas rush - time is tight! So glad you esteemed writers found this one "up to par" nay GOOD! It was a hard write and a sure sign that I'm back from dissociation into a dash of Zeitgeist cynicism.... Enjoy the party celebrations today and tomorrow - and here's hoping Santa brings us what we want (but NOT everything! ;) CHeers Boni
Seren

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Good is not magnificent dear

Good is not magnificent dear lady lol its one of your best :) love and hugs Jayne merry christmas to you and yours voer this holiday season be safe and smile
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 5 months ago

Dear caring Jayne!

It's not enough that you have to care for your own large family - but you take on this one here at Neopoet with aplomb! Thank you for coming back a second time - that from you is most gratifying! Have a lovely Christmas day and a superlative Holiday Season! Looking forward to many connections in the New Year Lol Boni
kowque

kowque

16 years 5 months ago

///wow//

dare I say it....when i "grow up" I wanna write like you...such power //*hero worship//*