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Uncovered

`





Belying this despised state

you hunch upon shuffling feet,

pondering the crunch of browned leaves.





Burrowing this dusty soil

you hide beneath scurrying paws,

forgetting the crash of billowy waves.





Blowing out raspy breath

you pucker withered lips;

release cotton-downed doves.





Bellowing against the horizon

you herd the flock from grazing;

shackled gates embrace nightfall.




`
— crypticbard, Dec 23, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows., I am because we are

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

pretty flow of imagery,

but not sure of your intent Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible [my new avatar is my skin with tattoo, kookaburra dive bombing with lit TNT in beak]
Frederick Kesner

Frederick Kesner

16 years 4 months ago

Well, it may mean other things to other people.

The value of poetry is found in the reading; the reader brings life to the poem. But I guess that is an arguable statement. The author's intent doesn't carry much weight in the experience of a poem. But for what it's worth, here goes (hope it helps out) - Uncovered is a poem that portrays (in broad brush strokes) a sense of grappling with reality, i.e. life's adversities, the unapologetic twists and turns of nature and how we often find sanctuary and safety in the protection of adaptations and symbols.... the crunching leaves of autumn can both signify the cooling off and deadening of life and hope but fall and winter aren't always a gloomy time of year. The burrow can be safe and warm a place of gestation and hibernation. Seed germinate in the depths of the earth... new life sprouting in dank and dark places. Both in the desert and in the tundra, the fierce weather shows on chapped and cracked lips... but the potential for clarity and release are just as real in the wilderness... we can find peace in self revelations as symbolised by doves. And the fear and dangers of darkness/night can be eased by the sheep herder's care, the gates of the enclosure more a comfort than a prison. Not all gates are gaols. They that uncover this secret are trully free. I fear that expounding in prose may wreck the experience of the poem or subvert/contrive the reader's journey. But I sincerely hope this helps. :-)
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 4 months ago

I am so very sorry,

thanks for your generous response, but I did not mean to demean your writing by making you explain it. There is nothing worse for a poet. I was not clear enough, I just wanted a hint. Respect you and your work and will not make the same mistake again. As to constructive criticism of the poem, yes, I did need a hint. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible