Untitled

Just sitting here on the couch
thinking about you
wishing you were here with me

Reading a book seeing your
shinning smiling face
that can make a cloudy day sunny

Longing to be in your presence
holding you in my arms
feeling the heat coming off of your body

Being able to run my hands through
your hair short black hair as dark as night
of which I can't imagine you without

Having my head against your chest
listening to your beating heart
knowing that this beating
is because of love

Looking into the eyes of a doe
I see how you feel and never
want to part with you

Just being able to have a conversation
and hear your beautiful angelic voice

— Benjamin1987, Dec 21, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Boston, Massachusetts, USA

Favorite Poets: The Beat Generation

Critiques

poewriter58

16 years 5 months ago

Benjamin

I'd like to see this poem re written with more depth of expression. You have fallen into the trap of all new writers cliches Give how you feel some deep thought, then find your words to describe that feeling for example: You speak of eyes, hair, heart now how does this persons eyes look to you, what feelings do you get, what about the color does the color remind you of anything example: browm eyes might look like dark chocolate are they warm and browm Your eyes the color of dark chocolate hold the warmth of a smile see where I am going with this Your original words not somone elses that have been used time after time Chrys