sonnet to a snowflake

Dear Ian, I love snow, and I enjoyed your sonnet. Possibly the last two stanzas could still be improved, e.g. the line with the snowball fights, which reads as if you intend to build snowmen and snowball fights. Looking out of my window just now, I see that is has again begun to snow... Yours, ~Nina

Ian you always make me Laugh *S* this is a lovely poem ... and yes a little tidy and I will come back and give you that other star lol ... bet your excited ? lol NOT ... take care darlin you have a merry Christmas and a pissed up new yr lol love and hugs Jayne x x

I came back to cool down ... its so hot ... and this cooled me down and made me feel a little cooler .. its been nearly 40 degrees here today im a puddle lol love and hugs Jayne x x

you've already done an edit. Darn, completely missed out on this, sorry... Hope you were good to Santa, you naughty Scot! Yours, ~Nina

I recall being a little girl and the snowflakes how beautiful and glistening, the white Christmas's spent in Connecticut, the beauty of the snowmen, the igloos dad made for us and of course the snowball fights. We were just children wrapped up so warm and hot chocolate awaiting us when we got in the house from Mom. Such touching memories this poem brang back to my vision this morning. Special memories of days long ago that still smell of snow and love abound. lovely magics02

What a joy this is Tam, & cooling since it is stinking hot here today! Ah you are a wit & a troubadour methinks, wonderful, wonderful! Happy new year to you. & thank you for the glimpse of UK cool. Cheers Anni~ "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet.

Actually, excellent imagery. I like the sonnet format for this reflective piece but I keep looking for a consistent meter to match the format. I've made some suggestion in [brackets] below to illustrate what I mean. The thing about structured poetry is that part of the beauty of it is like one of those interlocking jade puzzles. On the outside it's just a box or a ball or something but as soon as you begin toe tease it apart the structure become part of the beauty as you realize that to get to the end product you had to weave meaning and intent with planning. It's a blending of emotion and reason that makes them both shine so very brightly. ---------------------------- A single snowflake drifted by my nose Another, dancing in the evening light Then [endless]and [beyond]until my clothes [Transformed], like [softened] pinewoods green, to white. and for the closing couplet: Next morning, [I touch the] snow [and] thank it. All dirt and filth swept ['neath] God’s white blanket. ---------------------------- Just my ideas and thoughts, of course. You as the poet will need to determine what is of value and what is not. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

This piece is much improved with the modifications you have made and I like that you took my notes and crafted your own solution rather than implement them directly. There is still an issue with stanza two via syllable count, unless we are using different pronunciations, which is completely possible due to regional and cultural variances. In Stanza two my reading puts lines 1 & 4 at tetrameter and lines 3 & 4 at pentameter. At this point it's mostly a technical issue but the change of cadence still affects the flow of the stanza and creates a nagging stumble. But, once again, this is a solid write and I would class it as one of the best of yours that I have read. I do not detract from the more whimsical pieces you write, they present well and I am certain are grand hits for the intended audiences and those of us who love them and you should never stop writing them. But this piece is more technical and difficult to write and the capture of poignancy and thought is excellent. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

And the meter changes have smoothed out the read with no loss of, if I may use the word, fidelity. Excellent work on this piece. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

and to thaw beside the grate or blackened sheen of chrome door stove the kettle steaming woodbox/coalbin/peat bricks hopefully many there is calm in the hush or soft murmur in the windswept sansuine demour of a storm advancing from minuete to blowing whirl this has captured an old essence of writing I had forgotten I am most grateful and my Scottish blood feels it thank You~