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Starry_Nights
Starry_Nights
Dec 21, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Cascades


Cascades... flowingtears trickling downAll the while goingdown, down the gown. Cascades... drowningwaters swishing togetherAnd completely surroundingMy girl, named Heather. Cascades... cryingher eyes moisteningFrom a sadness so tryingthat I just can't help running. Cascades are what they are,Flowing like fingers across the guitar. 
— Starry_Nights, Dec 21, 2009

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Country/Region: USA

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Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Hi Lover_of_Starr,

I am probably not the best person to comment on this, as I vastly prefer unrhymed poetry. What I liked was the title, but - to me - the poem didn't quite keep the promise of its title. I'd say: stick with the image of cascades, use water imagery, and it might work. Yours, ~Nina
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

much better

Cheers, Jess, “The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue.” Emma Goldman