THE GIANT

Once, a long time ago, in the Northlands of snow;

Life was hard, though the people were kind;

But they had extra grief; a huge, fat, food thief;

Who persistently robbed their stores blind.

 

With his wizard, the King tried to do anything

That would help them get rid of this pest

But when archers attacked, they were all driven back

For their arrows stuck in the giant’s vest.

 

“We need help from the South.” said the Queen, (with a pout )

“But our roads are all blocked by the snow”

“What we need, my dear Queen, is a flying machine,”

hissed the King. ”to head South to Glasgow.”

 

To build the machine wasn’t hard, for it seemed

To just grow as the wizard cast spells.

It felt strangely tactile, looked more pterodactyl

Than bird, but it should serve them well.-------

 

It was on the back green, on the big trampoline

My granddaughters were jumping and diving

When there was a bright flash and the sound of a crash

‘Twas the King’s flapping flier arriving.

 

Before I could rise to inspect this surprise

It had Morgan and Tiegan hijacked

I let out a roar as Northwards it soared

“come back! come back! come back!”

 

The girls saw not a soul , went twice round the North Pole

As the wizard’s sat. nav. was defective 
But they landed at three ,had some afternoon tea,  

With the Queen, who thought they were detectives.
 

They were told, by the King, of the giant’s thieving

And how the food stores were run down

“We’ll clear up your trouble, but it'll cost double.”

Said Morgan, “We charge fifty pounds”

So Morgan and Tiegan were given a wee van

To take them to find the big pest .

Morgan told the van driver to park by the river,

From there they would walk to the West
 

Morgan thought for a while, as they walked half-a-mile

About how the giant wasn’t so brave,

For if he was a winner and stole people’s dinner

Then why did he hide in a cave?
 

All at once was a shout, and the giant rushed out,

Waving his club at the sky.

Tiegan picked up a stone, and it was well thrown,

For it hit the giant right in the eye!
 

The ogre cried “ouch!” and bent down in a crouch,

Dabbing his eye with a hankie

But the hankie was grotty and slimy and snotty,

Like the rest of his clothes it was manky!
 

“Are you laughing at me!” yelled the giant, on one knee,

“You’d better not, or you’re in trouble.

I’m bigger than you - I’ll turn you into stew!”

The girls laughed, the giant started to bubble
 

Morgan said “You’re not tough- just a big powder puff,

So you better run off - go on - beat it!”

I’ll go back to the King , having good news to bring.

“Sire, the cruel, fat giant is defeated .”
 

The giant trudged away, he’d had such a bad day

His feet frozen from snow on the road.

Just to make matters worse, by the wizard’s worst curse

He was magicked into a fat toad.
 

Soon again flyer soared, with the girls safe aboard

The King yelled “you’re our friends forever!”

They landed at four, ran in my back door,

They’d had quite an adventure together