Post-modern pseudosonnet

Dearest Jess ... I like the ending you have on it now ... but if you want shock value go for the bitches line ... another tremendous poem ... its fun reading you again ... my mind jumps on the carousel and takes the ride everytime :) cannot see anything to fault :) but then I rarely do with you Love and higgliest bugs Jayne

Elf Good Morning friend another great piece of work of yours..Loved it. magics02

Well, I personally love the thee and thine with bitchin'. I don't think they used those type words in Ye Olde English, Elfie. ~A Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

I like forever. The bitches ending is OK but the last ending, nah, it turns the voice into a passive wimp. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Brilliantly written. I like the non-shocking line better. In poetry I am free to take a break from realism. Great poem. I loved it. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

here Jess, and who else would have the ability to not take themselves so seriously and call it a "Pseudosonnet". A refreshingly poetic statement you make, so full of fatigue: "When morning comes and then one more/don’t look for my return I’ll go on and on, weary sad and sore." Poete Maudit par excellance! Here you mixed Shakespeare and Bukowski. Nice poem, and funny as hell to boot. GB

Dear Jess-Elf, I like the first ending, but the other two endings are so like you. I thought the poem was charming. Always, Cat

So with that in mind, is it the idea that whichever ending we prefer makes the poem complete way? ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Jess, I love that song! There's a new cover version by Nouvelle Vague, do listen to it when you get a chance. They have covered lots and lots of old fav songs, and added their own unique style to them. But - I came here to comment on the poem. I love the very idea of a "postmodern pseudosonnet", and you pulled this one off with style. Please add an apostrophe to "loves true name", and methinks a comma might be a good idea after "weary". Yours, ~Nina P.S. Ending is perfect as is, adds the advertised postmodern touch of pseudo to this sonnet in my opinion.

Love this! I reckon you've totally nailed it... as true as possible to traditional style - even most of the language - with just the right amount of post-modern decostructive punch... Seriously - where has this site been all my life!!

Although we are in no way Neo-buddies, it's good to see you back on the site. I hadn't been on in awhile, then I come on for a browse and there are a major load of Elf tribute poems. Anyway, great poem, loved the endings; I was a major sucker for those choose your own ending books. Then, I realized how annoying it was flipping through all those pages. This is way better. :) -JRS PS, I never understood post-modern.. or modern for that matter. What does it mean????

I walk in this city because I have no patience for transit nothing wrong with it I could be almost there in waiting this poem is a perceptive little gem I like the two endings or double paragraph fade out as you are a film man its the scene takes that are interesting I do a lot of U Tube watching and these are compressed visuals but always cool to look at and I get poet ideas from them Although lately Its just drippy love shit and religion always makes me think of cool aid concoctions or catching the mothership in the new year Intensely amazed at your work and commitment fave line is "forever more I will abide" just something about it but I dig it and understand it for me lifes great mysteries are the most intangible hairs to split but I try sometimes anyway cheers to you my brother and a Happy christmas

what a concept about love - few have fully explored! THis poem certainly sets it in the 21 Century Zeitgeist of options 1/2/or 3 as to which way it's gonna go! ;) Excellent follow through of a clever concept Jess!~ Boni

...but I can't decide! Maybe the second and third ending, I'm a fan of surprises.. I really liked it Jess peace Sofie

...but I can't decide! Maybe the second and third ending, I'm a fan of surprises.. I really liked it Jess peace Sofie

obviously I'm a fan of double posting too!

Its wicked. I love the way it starts, all old style, its really good then the ending finishes it with a perfect up take of the modern attitude to love, or maybe not. love was always like that, just modern language to express the realitys of ''love''. I read the poem like all the out comes were part of the poem, then final out come being the ending. great twist. vicki

Honestly, I LOVE the last couplet. LOVED it. How very clever with such even flow and lovely rhyme. I loved it. ~Pamela

Returning to the scene of the crime is generally a waste of time, however, for elven folk the art of shenanigans is merely a toke down the hole and up the ladder you shouldn't make the mad hatter madder will thou be mine this time? bitches need love too. ~A

i feel as though that poem title is a bit too much just because not everyone can understand as of which you speak other than that SWEET!!!

This is really quite a gem! And, it most definitely reflects your 'reprehensibly irrepressible' personality to the utmost degree! Very well-done and thoroughly enjoyable!

one: I like the topic matter. it's sincere and heart-felt. two: wording is unique and interesting. formatting really helps too. three: the rhythm I find both boring and unoriginal. it is one that is simple and easy to use, but really does nothing for the pom but turn into a novel ditty. four: the rhymes of 'ing' and 'ee' are over-used and, once again in my opinion, should be avoided if they can be, so as to allow each poem to live on it's own unique sphere (this said, without even reading back on my poems, I am sure I use both far too often) after all that said though, I do like this poem. I just wish it would stand out a little more... :/