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R.I.P....Whiskey Lullaby

R.I.P....Whiskey Lullaby

How fitting that it's cloudy
This sombre fateful day
The plane rolls down the tarmac
She keeps the tears at bay

She shouldn't really be here
But again, she had to be
One thousand miles traveled
She's here, but where is he

She rents herself a Mustang
Buys herself a map
Gathers her bag and baggage
Tosses on her Packers cap

To the farm, her destination
Down off highway 35
Cursing him within her soul
Cursing him for having died

Up ahead she sees the farm house
All the people gathered there
Driving slowly right on past
She glances right to an evil stare

Somehow she knew that other woman
That other woman knew her too
She found a place to pull on over
A place to keep her out of view

Walking slowly to the farmhouse
Staying safely out of sight
Beethoven's playing his last song
As this day becomes the night

She watches as they spread his ashes
Through her lips, a wail escapes
She questions life from here on in
How can she live without her mate

They had it all or at least enough
'Til he threw it all away
'Til that night he pulled the trigger
Now there's nothing left to say

Now she pulls herself together
Stumbles back into the car
This is it, her life is over
She drives off to find a bar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ys89rgn4b0


Sue


— jetz, Dec 15, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South eastern Connecticut, USA

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Critiques

B

Baz

16 years 5 months ago

Love it

Good storyboard and a familiar one, good rhythm and flow but for some inexplicable reason the very last line does not work for me, why I am not sure. Maybe "driving off" sounds like a golfing term? Do not be offended but I would have said it like this: Now pulling herself together sobbing she stumbles back to her car This is it, my life is over she thinks while searching for a bar. Just a personal choice, but it's your poem and one must express themselves as they feel at that moment. Baz
jetz

jetz

16 years 4 months ago

Hi Baz, I apologize for

Hi Baz, I apologize for not responding sooner. Only today, did I see your comment. This was/is a tough poem for me to review. I appreciate your opinion, and thank you for taking the time to respond...but, trust me when I say...each word in this piece, needs to be as it stands...I neither could, nor would change a word. Thanks again for the read. Sue/jetz
H

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

I like it

A good read but I hope it is fiction. I like the sytle you write here. Thanks Sue. huey
jetz

jetz

16 years 4 months ago

Hi Huey, Glad you enjoyed

Hi Huey, Glad you enjoyed the read. It's not fact, nor fiction.....a very long story is what it is.....Thanks for reading.. Sue
H

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

I won't ask for the story

most of my writting was inspire by real events or people. But the poems only capture the emotions and maybe loosely based on facts. Take Care. huey