MOLLY THE DANCER

Molly could dance her heart around,She twirled and she flipped upside down.
Her graceful ways, her grandiose dance,So happy she finally had gotten her chance.

For Molly's so beautiful and oh so bright,
She shines on the dance floor her special night.Her face like an angel, this sweet young girl,For she knows how to dance, and she knows how to swirl . For she is a winner, so proud is she,She won the prize for all, you see.Congratulation's to this wonderful girl,Who danced her beautiful dancing swirls..

— magics02, Dec 09, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Florida, USA

Favorite Poets: :)

Critiques

themoonman

16 years 5 months ago

Hi Magic...

I like the poem, but I'm biased... my seven year old daughter is taking dance, and she dances all the time around the house, it is what I saw in your poem about Molly... with that being said, I think you could add to the poem to connect more readers to your character, the final stanza, in my humble opinion, didn't really add to the poem at all, but I do think the poem has great potential. Richard

Kailashana

16 years 5 months ago

Hi, Magic. Pare down the

Hi, Magic. Pare down the poem to its heart and soul. ~Anna Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

magics02

16 years 5 months ago

Pare

Please explain dear and I thank you. Also Geez I do have to maybe fix her up a bit and I just wrote this will I was sitting here the other night when Molly did win the award on the show. what a story it was. peace..magics02

weirdelf

16 years 5 months ago

Something like this

Molly danced her heart around, she twirled and twisted upside down. Her graceful, grandiose dance, had finally been given a chance. Molly, so oh beautiful, so bright, in shining dance, unforgettable sight. This angelic girl, knows how to dance knows how to swirl. [knows how to move the entire world] I don't mean this exactly, just showing you how it can be pared down without losing anything and strengthen the ending. Especially the word beautiful 3 times, I would hesitate to use it in a poem at all, it doesn't really describe anything Cheers, Jess, whose nature is irrepressible

magics02

16 years 5 months ago

i thank you

Thank you and soon as I am more awake I need to fix it I love how it sounds your way and I thankyou kindly magics02

weirdelf

16 years 5 months ago

Remember, what I did was pretty extreme

and not kosher rewriting someones poem, just trying to show how much you could do with it, don't lose the heart of the piece, ok? Cheers, Jess, whose nature is irrepressible

magics02

16 years 5 months ago

Its all good and I thankyou

I have not had a chance to fix it but as soon as I get out of chat so much I will get back to my writing. Thanks for commenting I appreciate you too!! magics02