Between Us

Suddenly
You appear
your smile lighting up
that softly bearded face
radiating love
from the centre of a tall frame
and I just want to climb
inside
and embrace you to safety

When You cry
through my eyes
I feel and I breathe
all the spaces
in the oneness
between us
and I know

I know
I am the Sun
rising every morning
to bless You
to caress you
with my warmth and light

I know
I am the Rain
rushing from Heaven
just to brush your cheek
and nourish your lips

I know
I am the Earth
under your feet
your journey blesses me
and I grow
to sustain you

I know
I am the Moon
my only desire is
to bathe you in night beams
and cover you in goodness

Then I start to cry
through your eyes
and you are the Sun
the rain
the Earth
the moon
and I know
I know
I am home
in the space
in the Oneness
between us

— faerybeki, Dec 08, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

Race_9togo

16 years 6 months ago

LOL

Metaphors? Overused?? I didn't say A WORD... heehee... Hi Beki, long time no see. I like this one a lot, but try taking the commas out of the 2nd stanza and rearranging its lines a little, I think it will flow better, and be less passive. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

faerybeki

16 years 6 months ago

LOL Hi Jim, it has been

LOL Hi Jim, it has been toooo long, who knew falling in love was so absorbing eh?lol ;) I really appreciate your feedback on this one and will edit that 2nd stanza momentarily :) It did stop and start a bit there. Hoping you're well dear man? Much love Beki xxx

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Beki

Over used or not its great to see you again ... and in love I am guessing? thats the best bit ... (hugz) that second stanza the second line ? how about Then, as you cry ? its only a suggestion but I really loved this one .... and I hope you and Omi are doing well ... take care and great to see you back first cab of the rank tonight made my night seeing you again lol love higgliest bugs Jayne x x

faerybeki

16 years 6 months ago

Dearest Jayne, how I have

Dearest Jayne, how I have missed you!! thanks for the suggestion will look at it in a min when I edit babe. How the fook are you hon?!! Been sending you love often despite not being here for ages!! You guessed right hon ;) oh I can't tell you (without the over used metaphors lol) how brilliantly happy I am at the moment!! Over the moon to have made your night darlin', must read you soon, I've no doubt your writing keeps going from strength to strength, and you ar e never far from the spotight (somethings don't change eh? lol) Love you Jayne, HUGE hugs and much love Beki xxxx

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Love you more … I am going

Love you more ... I am going ok hairless mainly lol lost it all in the last few weeks lol going to do a sinnad but I'm doing ok ... I have missed you and your writing but am glad to know the time was well spent ... love first ;) and you of all the people I know deserve it and more dear one ... I have been writing some different stuff over the last month or so may shock you lol but I am enjoying as ever stepping out of my comfort zone ... fooking good to see you (huggles) and I am so glad you are shining I wondered what that halo on the horizon was lol ;) love you huni Jayne x x

faerybeki

16 years 6 months ago

Lol Jayne, thanks hon :) Bet

Lol Jayne, thanks hon :) Bet you're a beautiful baldy ;) we know that beauty shines from within and I often catch you glimmering :) Hoping to get over and read some of this new work of yours, but do know it takes a lot to shock me ;) lol always good to step out of our comfort zones, I should do it more often!! really wonderful to see you Jayne, hugs and much love Beki xxx

Ink Dragon

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Beki,

it's good to have you back. So that's what you call gooey, is it? Don't worry, I've seen far worse love poems than this one. It has too much of your unique Bekiness for me not to like it. I am sooo glad for you, babe! Keeping my fingers crossed that you will continue to be each other's sun, rain, earth and moon. Much love, ~Nina

faerybeki

16 years 6 months ago

Thanks Nina, it’s kinda

Thanks Nina, it's kinda nice to be back but fear it will have to be less often now, so wonderfully busy life is at the mo :) Happy to know there are worse love poems than this little offering lol and chuffed you found some uniqueness here :) Love you Nina, still awaiting pics of wonky wedding cake ;) lol hugs Beki xxx

Cloudthings

16 years 5 months ago

It is lovely & it doesn't have stale metaphors so don't be conce

Yay, it's a classic wonderfully sweet drippy love write, dripping with love & admiration & what a joy. It is lovely & it doesn't have stale metaphors so don't be concerned... & I love that "what you going to do about it" line!... in answer... only be overjoyed for you girl, & happy to see your lovely writing here again Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama

faerybeki

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks Anni, I was concerned

Thanks Anni, I was concerned lol some of it just seemed overplayed lol :) Of course he loved it and that is what really matters, but the 'poet' in me knew I could come up with something more original and personally I prefer Until You :) Thank you dear girl for being so happy for me, you know it's the same for me, i could read your Otter poems all day long, if only I had more time :) sending you zillions of hugs and all my love xxxx